Yes, Virginia, there really is a war on Christmas, despite feeble attempts of the left to convince us that the controversy was concocted by Bill O’Reilly, FOX News and the dreaded Christian right.
That the war is real is incontrovertible. More interesting is the why.
An estimated 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas – not Kwanza, winter solstice, Eid or Buddah’s Birthday.
According to a November Rasmussen poll, when shopping, 72% of Americans favor the salutation “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays,” versus 22% who prefer the generic greeting. The Christmas camp (doubtless spurred by sinister, theocratic impulses) gained 4 percentage points from last year.
In a Rasmussen survey released on December 10, 76% of adults said it’s okay to display religious symbols, like Nativity scenes and menorahs, in public settings (up 2 points from 2008). A paltry 11% disagree. Moreover, 83% believe public schools should celebrate religious holidays.
The foregoing hasn't made a dent in the militantly secular mindset.
Christmas Party
December 1...To All Employees
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free to sing-along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.
Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.
Merry Christmas to you and yours,
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 2...To All Employees
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from now on we’re calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 3...To All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that reads “AA Only” you won’t be anonymous any more.
In addition, we’ll no longer be having a gift exchange because union members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 7...To All Employees
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table.
Happy now?
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 9...To All Employees
People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for “Santa” does happen to be “Satan.” There is no evil connation to our own little “man in a red suit.”
Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
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December 10...To All Employees
Vegetarians! I’ve had it with you people. We’re holding this party at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit at the table farthest from the “Grill of Death” as you call it, and you’ll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell
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December 14...To All Employees
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
Originally posted by Ice ColdWow.
Yes, Virginia, there really is a war on Christmas, despite feeble attempts of the left to convince us that the controversy was concocted by Bill O’Reilly, FOX News and the dreaded Christian right.
That the war is real is incontrovertible. More interesting is the why.
An estimated 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas – not Kwanza, winter solstice, Ei ...[text shortened]... e the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
Originally posted by Ice Cold"More interesting is the why" - then why didn't you say anything about "the why"?
That the war is real is incontrovertible. More interesting is the why.
An estimated 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas – not Kwanza, winter solstice, Eid or Buddah’s Birthday.
"An estimated 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas" - according to whom? do they celebrate it in a religiously aware way - say, by attending church services? of those that do, for how many is it a 'once a year' thing? how many use the day merely as an excuse for mindless consumption? are 96% of Americans even Christian?
hell, even i "celebrate Christmas", tho i'm pretty sure i didn't even think of Jesus the entire day for even a single instant. for many, it already is effectively a secular holiday, notwithstanding the etymology of "holiday".
personally, i prefer the salutation "Merry Christmas" to "Happy Holidays" too - simply because it is less generic.
Originally posted by RedmikeIt's a joke, and saying in the title I found it on google should imply it wasn't my work.
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/humor/party.asp
Don't make me stick a snopes up your tush pal.
You want the World's first colonosnopey??
Don't make me slap you.
Originally posted by BlackampChristmas is over, so is the Christmas spirit.
"More interesting is the why" - then why didn't you say anything about "the why"?
"An estimated 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas" - according to whom? do they celebrate it in a religiously aware way - say, by attending church services? of those that do, for how many is it a 'once a year' thing? how many use the day merely as an excuse for mindless co ...[text shortened]... Merry Christmas" to "Happy Holidays" too - simply because it is less generic.
Bite me douchebreath.
Originally posted by Ice ColdI don't think anyone would think it was your work, for many reasons. It is relatively coherent, for starters.
It's a joke, and saying in the title I found it on google should imply it wasn't my work.
Don't make me stick a snopes up your tush pal.
You want the World's first colonosnopey??
Don't make me slap you.
I'm pointing out that it is nonsense.