Part One
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go to the bird section and Mick says to Paddy; Dat's Dem.
The shopkeeper comes over and asks if he can help.Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere, says Mick.
Put dem in a pepper bag.
The shopkeeper does as asked and the two pay for the birds and leave.
They get into Mick's van and drive until they reach a cliff with a 500ft drop. Dis looks loike a grand place, says Mick.
He then takes the two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by 'Splat'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, Fock Dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too bloody dangerous for me...
Part Two
A few minutes later, Seamus approaches. He too has been to the pet shop and is carrying the familiar 'pepper bag'. He then pulls a parrot out of the bag and Paddy notices that in the other hand Seamus is carrying a gun.
Watch this Paddy he says, as he launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is another 'Splat' and he joins Mick at the bottom of the cliff.
Paddy shakes his head and says, An' oim never troyin' that parrotshooting oider...
Part Three
After a few minutes, Patrick strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and walks up with his 'pepper bag'.
Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag and launches himself off the cliff with the usual result.
Once more Paddy shakes his head - F#@* me Patrick, first der was Mick wit his budgie jumpin, den Seamus parrotshooting and now you dis bloody hengliding.
😀😀😀😀
Your such a wag bill!
Hows this one then?
Paddy and Mick are serviing as boarder patrol when 5 blokes pull up in an Audi A8 Quattro, so Mick approaches the car and says to the driver
"Sorry sir, I'll have to report you for being over loaded"
Driver says "What the hell are you talking about?"
Mick replies "Well, sir, you have 5 people in your car and this is an Audi Quattro, Quattro means 4"
Driver responds "No you pillock, An Audi Quattro is 4 wheel drive and its a five seater car!"
Mick is adament, that only four people are allowed in the car, so the driver demands to speak to his supervising officer, Mike replies
"Who Paddy?, cant do that, he's tied up at the moment with 2 girls in a Fiat Uno!"
😏
hee hee, both great...
...Paddy and Mick were walking along and see a pot hole in the gorund with no lid on. So Mick decides to investigat and went down...
...Mick "Its full of milk down ere"
...Paddy " Is it pasturised???"
...Mick "No, its not even past my knees!"
And another
...Paddy and Mick were walking along again and see another pot hole in the gorund with no lid on. So Paddy decides to investigat and went down...
Mick shouts down "Is it dark down there??"
Paddy..."Dunno, pass a torch down and I'll see!"
David