News limericks

1.
There was an old doctor named Tiller
Who some people called an Attila
He snuffed out unborn lives
To save young girls and wives
Till he was punctured -- by George! -- by a killer

There once was a girl named Tori
Who went missing, or so went the story
Her abductor, the junky
And the woman, a flunky
Will now spend their whole lives feeling sorry.

🙁

There once was a singer named Susan
Who put herself up for the choosin'
But it all went wrong
At the end of her song
And she finished in total confusion.

There was a P.M. named Harper
Who thought his Finance guy was sharper
But to his chagrin
The guy was so dim
The budget was "screwed" from the starter.

There once was a chancellor named Darling
Who's inadvertent mistake left him smarting
In matters of tax
He was rather lax
So soon you may see him departing

There was a young man of Japan,
Who wrote verses that never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He said:"It's because
I always try to get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.

There once was a lady from Cager
Who wanted to place a small wager
That she could easily fart
The entire oboe part
To Mozart's Quartet in F major.