So, there I was, Sunday night; I'd just finished boring myself to sleep with Blade 2 (I won't bore you by telling you anything about this film other than that it is balls from start to finish) and was about to head off to bed when my phone rang. I looked at the caller display and it was an international code which I didn't recognise. At first I thought it might be my stepfather, who lives in Antwerp and who has a tendency to phone me once in a blue moon when he has been drinking. I consider leaving it, it's late and I'm not really in the mood, but some part of me thinks I'll just have to call him back tomorrow and so I take the call. What follows is a transcript from memory of the call, my thoughts as I was talking are in italics. Enjoy:
Me: Hello
Caller: Hello?
Me: Hello? Is that my stepfather? Itsounds deep enough, but not Canadian
Caller: Hello?
Me: Who is it? I hate when people just expect you to know who they are
Caller: It's Mark Mark? Do I know a Mark?...Oh right! Shavixmir from RHP
Me: Oh hi, how are you?
Mark: I'm [censored] drunk and I've taken a [censored] load of tamazepam. Oh [censored] he's [censored] fucking overdosed, I'm going to have to find an ambulance in Holland. How the hell do I do that?
Me: Why?
Mark: For my insomnia, but I think that alcohol and sleeping pills don't mix No... really? I'd never have guessed it. Why is he calling me? At 12 o'clock? On a Sunday?
Me: So, what's up? This better be good
Mark: Oh I just wanted to speak to you and say hi before I go off to India Ahh, okay, not sooooo bad, at least you're not ringing me to tell me you're dying
Me: Oh right, so, when are you off? It must be like tomorrow, he's celebrating
Mark: Oh the first Thursday in February
Me: That's in nearly two weeks He's not leaving tomorrow
Mark: Yeah, so I thought I'd call you to say hi before I go
So at this point I have learnt two things: 1)Alcohol and Tamazepam do not mix 2)Alcohol and Tamazepam destory chronological importance, both in time of using phone and in proximity to urgent dates.
Me: Okay, cool. I hope you have a good time.
Mark: Yeah I will, just have to say goodbye to everyone before I go At 12 o'clock on a Sunday night?.
Me; So who else do you have to say goodbye to?
Mark: Oh, your girlfriend and the singer in your band, she's seriously gorgeous Liam.
Me: I'm sure she'll be flattered, I'll pass on your good wishes to both of them I can see this isn't going to end here...
Mark: I wish I could take her with me
Me: Hmmm... I'm not sure she'd want to accompany you for a 6 month trip to foreign lands, she hardly knows you.
Mark: Yeah, man... Perhaps I could take a keepsake with me to remind me of her
Me: Right.... like what?
Mark: Well, if you could get her to give you a pair of her panties that would be cool.
Me: Right....
Mark: Used of course
Me: ...of course...
Mark: Thanks Liam, you're great You really think I'm going to ask me friend for a pair of her used panties to send to you in India don't you?
Me: I'll see what I can do...
Mark: Yeah, well I better go Go where? You're going to get some tissue paper aren't you?
Me: Okay, well nice talking to you, have a nice time in India
Mark: Cheers, you're a really nice guy, I love you man I knew that was coming somewhere. Oh well, at least he doesn't want a pair of my panties I suppose...
Me: Take care buddy
Mark: Say hi to the gorgeous Catherine for me
Me: I will, adios muchacho
Mark: Bye
And so it is that I went to bed with the lingering nausea that accompanies the thought of Shav, tissues and mental imagery of my singer... *shudder* Needless to say I didn't sleep well.
This morning Shav signs in to messenger and needless to say has absolutely no idea of what he's done. Apperently after checking his phone to make sure I'm not making it up he realises that he has phoned others... I do hope sooooo much that they will elaborate on what words of wisdom he imparted on them too.... Please....
Originally posted by StarrmanAh...so I wasn't the only one who received the terrifying overdose message .Unfortunately Mark I had no credit on my mobile and my landline won't make calls out of the UK so I couldn't call you back to give you a roasting. I have saved the messages though and next time you're over I'll shame you into listening to them. 😉
So, there I was, Sunday night; I'd just finished boring myself to sleep with Blade 2 (I won't bore you by telling you anything about this film other than that it is balls from start to finish) and was about to head off to bed when my phone rang. I looked at the caller display and it was an international code which I didn't recognise. At first I thought it ...[text shortened]... words of wisdom he imparted on them too.... Please....
Originally posted by shavixmirAnd I didn't even mention the part about your desire for me to be a rockstar so that you could throw your pants at me...
You know, if you look at shame like it's a giant hole, I reckon I've accumulated so much embarrassment, there's no way I'll ever be able to climb out of it.
Originally posted by wucky3😳
A friend of mine picked up my messages (yes there were 2 of them Mark) This is the message I got from her:
'Jo, Jo there are 2 messages on your phone from a scottish guy. He said he has taken an overdose. I think he's trying to committ suicide'
Me: Oh...that'll be Mark...I'll speak to him tomorrow
Good grief.
😳
Originally posted by wucky3LMFAO!
A friend of mine picked up my messages (yes there were 2 of them Mark) This is the message I got from her:
'Jo, Jo there are 2 messages on your phone from a scottish guy. He said he has taken an overdose. I think he's trying to committ suicide'
Me: Oh...that'll be Mark...I'll speak to him tomorrow
That's brilliant.