Oh dear, is that all you got up to then?

In a spirit of oneupmanship, trump the previous poster's concise, highly specific, fictitious one week out-of-the ordinary holiday report with one of your own.

Went scuba diving on an idyllic deserted island off the coast of PNG and discovered the wreck of Japanese frigate sunk in 1943 which had a safe containing documents that may alter our understanding of the Pacific War. It earned us a few unexpected nights staying with the Prime Minister at his palatial country residence. What a week. Doncaster seemed so dull when we got home. What did you get up to then?

Originally posted by FMF
In a spirit of oneupmanship, trump the previous poster's concise, highly specific, fictitious one week out-of-the ordinary holiday report with one of your own.

Went scuba diving on an idyllic deserted island off the coast of PNG and discovered the wreck of Japanese frigate sunk in 1943 which had a safe containing documents that may alter our understanding of ...[text shortened]... residence. What a week. Doncaster seemed so dull when we got home. What did you get up to then?

nailed halle berry...

next...

Changed gender.

Originally posted by Seitse
Changed gender.

I competed against Bruce Jenner at the 1976 Olympics (decathlon) in the hurdles and came in last. Last week I chased Caitlyn Jenner to get a photo and did.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
I competed against Bruce Jenner at the 1976 Olympics (decathlon) in the hurdles and came in last. Last week I chased Caitlyn Jenner to get a photo and did.

That must have been nice for you. We, on the other hand, flew a couple of micro-lites across the spectacular Amazon rain forest where we found an extremely rare and endangered long-beaked echidna which we cooked over a camp fire in the delightful company of a pygmy tribe who'd not yet made contact with the outside world and who promised they'd visit us in Doncaster.

Originally posted by FMF
That must have been nice for you. We, on the other hand, flew a couple of micro-lites across the spectacular Amazon rain forest where we found an extremely rare and endangered long-beaked echidna which we cooked over a camp fire in the delightful company of a pygmy tribe who'd not yet made contact with the outside world and who promised they'd visit us in Doncaster.

I traveled back in time (yes I own the only functioning time machine) and switched all the knives used to kill Caesar into rubber ones...well all except that of Brutus and only because I was worried about actually changing history.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
I traveled back in time (yes I own the only functioning time machine) and switched all the knives used to kill Caesar into rubber ones...well all except that of Brutus and only because I was worried about actually changing history.

Well Doncaster didn't change much while you were away. We travelled along the Loire Valley with Keith Richards and Mick Jagger tasting wine (only the ones made from grapes grown on the northern banks of the river, of course) and I taught Keith the only riff that he had not yet used on any of their albums (we realized there's was only one left, clever me) and he promised to use it on the Stones' next album which - according to Mick - lyrically speaking - will draw heavily on the interesting things I said to them in our late night chats in the various chateaux that they own.

Originally posted by FMF
Well Doncaster didn't change much while you were away. We travelled along the Loire Valley with Keith Richards and Mick Jagger tasting wine (only the ones made from grapes grown on the northern banks of the river, of course) and I taught Keith the only riff that he had not yet used on any of their albums (we realized there's was only one left, clever me) and he ...[text shortened]... interesting things I said to them in our late night chats in the various chateaux that they own.

Did they tell you about when they arrived in Montreal April 22, 1965, the day before their April 23rd concert in Montreal. that the hotel they were supposed to stay at was over booked and they called me to see if they could "crash" at my place?

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Did they tell you about when they arrived in Montreal April 22, 1965, the day before their April 23rd concert in Montreal. that the hotel they were supposed to stay at was over booked and they called me to see if they could "crash" at my place?

Yes. It will be mentioned in a pop-stars-on-the-road tune called "I Have Been Crashing At Hell" on their next album and, with the aid of some rather nice $600 a bottle plonk, out the back of the chateau they gave me the deeds to as a parting gift, I gave them some of the tune's best lines. I rhymed 'Is this place Montreal?' with 'Ain't This Place Awful?' It's got hit written all over it.

Originally posted by FMF
In a spirit of oneupmanship, trump the previous poster's concise, highly specific, fictitious one week out-of-the ordinary holiday report with one of your own.

Went scuba diving on an idyllic deserted island off the coast of PNG and discovered the wreck of Japanese frigate sunk in 1943 which had a safe containing documents that may alter our understanding of ...[text shortened]... residence. What a week. Doncaster seemed so dull when we got home. What did you get up to then?

Knowing you were away, i had a great weekend in Doncaster, 🙂
The locals are very friendly, they are happy when you leave, normally scared to talk in case you accuse them of aggression.

Originally posted by GHOST HUNTER
Knowing you were away, i had a great weekend in Doncaster, 🙂
The locals are very friendly, they are happy when you leave, normally scared to talk in case you accuse them of aggression.

Staying in Doncaster can hardly be described as something done in the "spirit of oneupmanship". 😛

I got RJH to admit the Earth might be older than 6,000 years.

Originally posted by moonbus
I got RJH to admit the Earth might be older than 6,000 years.

For a one off payment of 1200 pounds you could get me to admit the Earth is made out of Gorgonzola.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
For a one off payment of 1200 pounds you could get me to admit the Earth is made out of Gorgonzola.

Yeah but is that aged gorgonzola or young gorgonzola?

Originally posted by FMF
Yes. It will be mentioned in a pop-stars-on-the-road tune called "I Have Been Crashing At Hell" on their next album and, with the aid of some rather nice $600 a bottle plonk, out the back of the chateau they gave me the deeds to as a parting gift, I gave them some of the tune's best lines. I rhymed 'Is this place Montreal?' with 'Ain't This Place Awful?' It's got hit written all over it.

My old chum, The Donald, and I -- we go way back -- were chugalugging 1,000 dollar-a-glass cognac and reminiscing about our school days, and I reminded him, "Donald, old chum, remember we used to say the day you run for President of U.S. of A. we'd swap bank accounts?" And The Donald, my best chum, replied, as he sipped another 1,000 dollar-a-glassfull of cognac, "Yup, Moonbus, old buddy, I shore do. And beens how I'm a running for POTUS, here's my bank accounts list right here, notarized in your name and everything. It's all yours for keeps. I'm just proud to serve my country and I know you'll blow that cash on a fracking great party like we used to! Se ya round, old buddy and have yourself some fun."

"Thanks, Donald," I said. I'll keep a bottle o' this for when you get back."

'Cling!' rang out the cognac glasses.