A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won 5,000 pounds in a seatbelt competition.
"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?" 🙂
A friend of mine was driving one day. I was the passenger. He was driving over the speed limit, got pulled over by a state trooper, who asked "I stopped you for speeding, what's the big rush?" My friend said, "my wife is getting ready to be pregnant and I have to be there when it happens!" The policeman thought that was funny and only gave him a warning.
When I was a punk teen in high school (1985 or so) I went to a school dance in the next town over. Me and a friend had a 6 pack of beer we were going to drink before we went in. A cop in the parking lot got to us as we were ready to open the beers.
"Tell you what, give me the beer and I'll forget I saw you".
I'm thinking this is a sweet deal since It's my car and we were under aged by 3 or 4 years.
My friend says, "You're just going to take the beers and drink them with your partner".
Before I could slap his head silly the cop says, "Fine! I'll confiscate the beers and send a letter to your homes. Also, get out of here and find something else to do tonight, if I see you again tonight I'll take you in".
So as we leave I tell my friend what an idiot he is.
Some weeks later my father comes to me with the letter with a scowl on his face. "You and Tom had some beers taken away from you in the next town over? You could have been arrested for that".
I say, "Check this out, blah blah blah", and telling him the whole story and how I felt.
My father says, "My God, he's such an idiot". That was it.
P-
I was out with the wife driving on the highway doing about 85 when I saw the inevitable lights behind me and pulled over. The trooper came to the window and asked if I new why he pulled me over? Of course I said no. He said my right tail light was non functioning. I said it must have just happend when the wife piped up that I had known it for months. I gave her a stern glance. He said he was going to site me for the light and for not wearing a seatbelt. Of course I just took it off when you pulled me over. Again the wife piped up that I never wore a seatbelt. I glanced over and gave her an evil glance and told her to shut up. The trooper asked "Maam is your husband always this mean to you?" and she said, only when he is drunk 🙁
My uncle is police officer, he told me a story about something that happened in a friends department. 2 cops were on night shift watching a back country road for late night speeders. Every night about the same time a quick blip came across the radar, they had no clue what it was.
After a time an accident nearby gave then their answer. A doctor at the local hospital had been speeding by over 100 miles an hour in his porshe. He never had his lights on and was going so fast the cops and their radar never saw him except for the blip. How did he see you ask? Night vision goggles.
But he introduced himself to tree and thus endeth the story. Lesson - don't be an idiot.
I took my new baby out on the highway, a Porche, expensive but now I'm 75 I why leave the money to the damn kids.
The wife calls me on my cell phone. She's watching the news And some idiot on I-85 is going the wrong way!
She says watch out for this guy & I tell her it's not just one there are hundreds going the wrong way.
There I was flying down the highway & the trooper pulls me over.
What's your hurry sir he asks, telling me his shift is almost over & if I give him a good reason he'll let me slide.
Ok, I tell him, 10 years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper, I thought you were bringing her back.
No ticket & a polite have a nice day.