FASCISM:
You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.
NAZISM:
You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoot you.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. State takes both of them, kills one and spills the milk down the drain.
DEMOCRAT / SOCIALIST (Same thing these days...)
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. The government takes one
and gives it to someone else. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is
good.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Originally posted by shavixmirIt's good to see you're so deeply interested in American politics.
US elections 2000.
US elections 2004.
And I'm pretty damn sure the elections in 2008 are going to be every bit as comical.
Maybe Zimbabwe can send a couple of monitors to make sure there the elections go fairly...
However, McCain will win 'of course' and nothing will change.
- Joined
- 23 Jul 05
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- 8869
Originally posted by shavixmirKnowing Mugabe, he'll probably be rigging the US elections for him to win as well, he's already done something similar once.
US elections 2000.
US elections 2004.
And I'm pretty damn sure the elections in 2008 are going to be every bit as comical.
Maybe Zimbabwe can send a couple of monitors to make sure there the elections go fairly...
http://tinyurl.com/3auz4u
Originally posted by RapidfyreJAPAN: You have two cows. You extract their DNA, tamper with it and
FASCISM:
You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.
NAZISM:
You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoot you.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. State takes both of them, kills one and spills the milk down the drain.
DEMOCRAT / SOCIALIST (Same thing these days...)
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
begin to clone new supersmall and superproductive cows. You call them
pokicow and export them to the western world along with all kinds of
gadgets and collector items for kids.
RUSSIA: You have two cows. You count again and now there's four of
them. You count again and now there's five. You take another sip of
vodka and start all over.
SWEDEN: You have two cows, and you're most pleased with that.
TAIWAN: You have two cows. They're both arrested for appearing to chew
bubble gum in public.
SWITZERLAND: You have a million cows all deposited from other parts of
the world where the production of milk is expensive.
USA: You have two cows. You cram them into a ridiculously small barn
and import another two thousand cows to fill up the remaining ten
square feet. You make big money and you're proud of yourself.
CHINA: You have two cows. The government shoots one of them. You
have one cow. You paint it like a black horse so the government won't
think it's another protester wearing camouflage clothing.
USA: You have two thousand and two cows. The government suspects
two of them to be suicide Muslims because of all the methane gas
surrounding them at the moment of measuring, and of course methane
can be used to ignite the whole barn. They're sent to the Guantanamo
base where they're pleasantly surprised to find they have more space
and freedom than they could ever have dreamed of back in the barn.
CANADA: You have two cows. They're amazing hockey players.
MEXICO: You have two cows. You wish you had more. You take them to
the states and cram them into a ridiculously small barn with two...
BRAZIL: You have two cows. There's something sexy about them that
attracts a certain clientel from other parts of the world.
THAILAND: You have two cows. Well, not so much cows as calves. And for
a small cost you let them spend time with...
ARGENTINA: You have two cows. They're both dedicated worshippers of
Maradona.
ENGLAND: You have two cows, and they're both jolly good and dandy. Or
it could be they have the mad cows disease.
IRAN: You have two cows. They're forced by the government to wear veils.
ISRAEL: You have two cows. You suspect they're out to get you, so you
build a huge wall to keep them out of sight. That should do it.
HOLLAND: You have two cows and it's been said that drinking their milk
is a real high.
JAMAICA: You have two cows and you wish they were from Holland.
ZIMBABWE: You have two cows. They screw everything up and if you
voice an opinion on that they cut your fingers off. Somehow.