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I've done nothing but fart since I got up at 7:30 this morning. Is this a symptom of stopping smoking, or has something crawled up my arse and died? 😞

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Originally posted by jimslyp69
I've done nothing but fart since I got up at 7:30 this morning. Is this a symptom of stopping smoking, or has something crawled up my arse and died? 😞
Smoking does suppress the digestive system, I believe, so your hypothesis isn't so far fetched.

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Originally posted by AThousandYoung
Smoking does suppress the digestive system, I believe, so your hypothesis isn't so far fetched.
Really? I just thought it suppressed appetite and taste sensation. I will have to google that one. Thank you.

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Originally posted by jimslyp69
Really? I just thought it suppressed appetite and taste sensation. I will have to google that one. Thank you.
I heard on my sports radio about some lady had a plane diverted and land early. People smelled something like burning sulfur, and the plane landed at the closest place.

The FBI got on the plane and found 6 or so burnt matches. They questioned the people near by and this woman told them that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her pass gas quite often.

I didn't look for a link, I heard this on the radio 3 or so days back.

Advice... don't fly. The DJ's on my sports radio talking about the story, one thought the lady was kind for lighting matches in hopes of saving everyone from the smell. The other didn't care for stupid acts of kindness. Both decided flying at all was a bad idea in this condition.

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http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-06-25-judge-conduct_x.htm

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Originally posted by Phlabibit
I heard on my sports radio about some lady had a plane diverted and land early. People smelled something like burning sulfur, and the plane landed at the closest place.

The FBI got on the plane and found 6 or so burnt matches. They questioned the people near by and this woman told them that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her pass gas ...[text shortened]... stupid acts of kindness. Both decided flying at all was a bad idea in this condition.

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Was this not an excuse for someone caught out trying to light up on a plane? Sound a bit iffy to me.
I remember about ten years ago when I was with a friend of mine, Simon, and a couple of his mates I'd never met before. We went to a pub in my local town. One I don't usually go in.
At the time Simon was working for some sort of draught exclusion/home insulation company. Anyway, we went in this pub and Simon and co were openly building joints and smoking them.
It couldn't have been more open, as the bar was one of those that has three sides and a room on each side of the bar, if you know what I mean?
Anyway, an hour after the first joint was lit, one of the bar maids finally cottoned on to what was going on and who was doing it. It honestly took them that long that we thought it may actually have been permitted in there.

Well eventually, this lady came storming towards my mate Simon, shouting and screaming to get out, and that this sort of behaviour really wasn't acceptable.
what did Simon do? He took out a smoke match, the sort you use for checking air currents up suspect chimney flues, and lit it. He said that that's what was making the smell. With this final odorous insult, both land ladies, yes both land ladies 😛 were now chasing Simon and slapping his stoned head out of the pub.

So off to the next pub we went.............

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Originally posted by jimslyp69
Was this not an excuse for someone caught out trying to light up on a plane? Sound a bit iffy to me.
I remember about ten years ago when I was with a friend of mine, Simon, and a couple of his mates I'd never met before. We went to a pub in my local town. One I don't usually go in.
At the time Simon was working for some sort of draught exclusion/home in ...[text shortened]... and slapping his stoned head out of the pub.

So off to the next pub we went.............
I have never met the man, but I am confident enough to proclaim that "Simon is the man!"

2 edits
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Originally posted by AThousandYoung
Pump pump pump

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-06-25-judge-conduct_x.htm
'Many of the lawyers and court personnel were aware of the pump, which became the butt of jokes, he said.' 😵

On a more serious note though. This judge has been caught, bang to rights, tossing himself off, or at the very least making extremely lewd suggestions to other members of the court room, whilst they have been attempting to carry out justice in a professional manner. And now, they are trying to make excuses for him?????
How much have these people siding with him been paid off? Come on. It beggars belief.
The mind boggles. It really does.
If this was you or me, we would not only have been done with contempt of court, but had a charge of gross indecency brought against us and been forced to sign the SO register for umpteen years.

This cretin should be made an example of and banged up with the very people whom he has passed judgement on over the last couple of decades. But alas no, this will not happen as justice is either extremely twisted, or does not exist.
Sorry about the rant, but that story really gave me the needle.

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'pump pump', finland 1976!

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pull my finger

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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
pull my finger
Pump!

Nooooooooooo not again.

1 edit
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Originally posted by Merk
I have never met the man, but I am confident enough to proclaim that "Simon is the man!"
He is indeed! 🙂

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Originally posted by Phlabibit
I heard on my sports radio about some lady had a plane diverted and land early. People smelled something like burning sulfur, and the plane landed at the closest place.

The FBI got on the plane and found 6 or so burnt matches. They questioned the people near by and this woman told them that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her pass gas ...[text shortened]... stupid acts of kindness. Both decided flying at all was a bad idea in this condition.

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Not in MI are you?

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You should use it to your advantage and gas out all the people that you don't like!
I always leave a treat for my housemates to walk into when I use the toilet 😵

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Originally posted by SJ247
Not in MI are you?
Me? No... I'm in NE.

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