Originally posted by Hand of HecateDear Sirs/Madams/Corperate Asexual Drones-
I need help with writing a resignation letter. Any suggestions?
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you I must resign from this "ship of the damned" you call a company. After 2 seconds of soul searching I have decided to move up from this job an accept a position cleaning floors in a Mexican donkey show. But with a pay raise (up to 100 Pesos/month) and restoration of my dignity, how could I possibly turn down such an attractive career move from my present position?
I will miss the staff at (Your company's name) even more than the case of clap I got from(Your supervisor's name)'s wife at the xmas party last year.
Sincerely- Hand of Hecate
PS- Please call if anyone finds my "misplaced" box of fish guts.
Originally posted by Moldy CrowThat's suh-weet! I'm using it.
Dear Sirs/Madams/Corperate Asexual Drones-
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you I must resign from this "ship of the damned" you call a company. After 2 seconds of soul searching I have decided to move up from this job an accept a position cleaning floors in a Mexican donkey show. But with a pay raise (up to 100 Pesos/month) and restoration of my ...[text shortened]... erely- Hand of Hecate
PS- Please call if anyone finds my "misplaced" box of fish guts.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateDear management,
I need help with writing a resignation letter. Any suggestions?
I would like to say, that the last (enter time worked here) working here has been one of the worst experiences of my life. I was the only worker to show up on time, the coffee was horrible, the break room was a joke, and where is this watercooler I've heard so much about?
Did I tell anyone when you went off to Aruba to meet you secret 'partners' last month? No.
Did you threaten to fire me if I used 1 more sick day? Yes, multiple times.
Did you refuse to give me benefits even though I worked 70 hours a week? No. Did you set my shed on fire when I accidently shreaded your birth certificate? Yes, multiple times.
Did I make fun of you when you lost 30 million on toilet paper stocks? No. Did you make fun of me when I had a dentist appointment and was loaded with novacaine and couldn't keep anything in my mouth? Yes, multiple times.
All in all, my work suffered, and the productivity of my whole department plumeted. But the important thing is, I'm leaving the company with 16 million in laundered money, a brand new Lexus, and a whole new life.
Thanks for the memories.
Regards-
(insert name here)
Works for me every time.
Dear Boss,
You still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a burger
I ain't mad - I just don't really wanna be your worker
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the workplace
you didn't have to, but you shouldn't've bought me round in the firstplace
Why you under-cover man? That acts six years old
I waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty silly man - you're like New Zealand idol
I want a civil union man, skip the vowls and hit the "I do's"
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met on Yahoo - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I knew I had a Jungle Fever;
I saw your face boss now I'm a believer
I can relate to what you're saying about Ron
So when I'm feeling extra honry.. threesome with John!
cause I don't really got sheet else so that sheet helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of our companies new crest
Sometimes I even shut my mouth to see how much you glee
It's like adrenaline, your joy is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My dog Ben's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But he don't know you like I know you Boss, no one does
He don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the best employee you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, H.O.H. -- P.S.
We should be together too