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Squirrel Neutering Program.

Squirrel Neutering Program.

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Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
There's something about the first part of your statement that becomes alarming when read along with the rest. Maybe the state should have a monopoly on violence - or at least on the more efficient, projective means of bringing it about - after all.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
Yeah, sometimes I get lonely too.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
Are you talking red or black squirrels? Where I live theres a serious population explosion with the reds.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
Kill em all... let God sort em out...

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Originally posted by dweezil
Are you talking red or black squirrels? Where I live theres a serious population explosion with the reds.
were are all these black squirrels, last time i looked they where red and grey.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
Sprinkly the lawn with Cyanide. It will not only keep the squirrels away, but it'll keep the pesky children off your lawn as well.

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Originally posted by GalaxyShield
Sprinkly the lawn with Cyanide. It will not only keep the squirrels away, but it'll keep the pesky children off your lawn as well.
Maybe not. He might end up with even more dangerous mutant squirrels 🙄

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Originally posted by RookRAK
Maybe not. He might end up with even more dangerous mutant squirrels 🙄
That just makes using his shotgun on them more satisfying 😉.

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Originally posted by GalaxyShield
That just makes using his shotgun on them more satisfying 😉.
Perhaps, in mutating, the squirrels not only get bigger and stronger, but also much smarter. They use these new skills to develop body armor.

This shootout should make for some good video footage. I hope someone thinks to get the camera out ...

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Originally posted by trevor33
were are all these black squirrels, last time i looked they where red and grey.
Traverse City, Michigan, USA.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
Don't forget to eat them.....after killing them....

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Bought an new .22 rifle, it'll shoot the balls of a squirrel at 50 yards. Speaking of squirrels, I've noticed a serious increase in their numbers. Mark my words, the squirrel rebellion is days away and I for one aim to be amongst the squirrel overseers and not one of the nut gathering slaves.
See, the problem is you are only shooting females. So you would
automatically miss the balls and they get off scott free.
You have to sneak up on them when they are asleep, lift up their
little hind legs and see which one is a male, THEN shoot their balls.

2 edits
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Lord help us.What is it comming to??First its burned mice, now its eunich squirrels??The ASPCA is dropping bricks I am sure by now.
Put the rifle to good use and teach the squirrels who is boss.Iam sure you can find recipes on line for delicious squirrel pastry stew.

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Originally posted by DeepThought
There's something about the first part of your statement that becomes alarming when read along with the rest. Maybe the state should have a monopoly on violence - or at least on the more efficient, projective means of bringing it about - after all.
I'm glad that you appreciate conundrum I am confronted with. On one hand I have the new .22 rifle, dubbed the "Squirrel Snuffer" and on the other I am convinced that we are past the point of no return and Squirrels will surely rule the Earth.

I'm glad you brought up 'The State', few seem to recogonize that, universally, in all nations and all levels of Governement Squirrel Agents have infultrated 'The State'. While you are a visionary for being able to appreciate the scale of the problem, I am very concerned that you are advocating the use of force by Squirrels against humanity. Fortunately, due to the extent of the Squirrel Infestation, I think the ultimate Squirrel Coup will be relatively bloodless. For example, can there be any doubt that the entire Republican Party and Pat Robertson(700 Club) are either Squirrel Robots or Secret Squirrel Agents?!?! Only STANG seems to appreciate the threat we face.

Despite the fact that this will get me thrown into the Squirrel Nut Shelling Pits I'm going to put the Squirrel Snuffer to work next weekend and blow the balls of some of the local squirrel population. With any luck, the Snuffer's surgical precision will make the ball removal relatively painless. I'm thinking I'll drag a tri-pod and some sandbags with me to maximize shot stability.