"Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask how much more tax money you can give to your country. In fact, I vow to create a special governmental program called, "No tax payer left behind". Of course, no one will be left behind, except Mr. Geithner, but I think that is only common sense"
"All of this would not have been possible unless you had decided to lay aside your guns and Bibles and vote for me."
"It matters little if you are a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or even atheist. All will be represented in my administration.......however, if you are one of those goofy racist Mormons your days are numbered. In fact, show me a black Mormon and my man Mr. Paulson will show ya some mortgages you should buy as investments."
"My focus and goal for my administration is to usher in an era of change. In fact, the DOW is crashing as we speak as they swear me in."
"I was pleased to see they finally sold my Senate seat."
"Black Power!!"
(Feel free to add your own)
Originally posted by whodeywww.theonion.com has a great spoof story about jackhammers during the speech.
"Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask how much more tax money you can give to your country. In fact, I vow to create a special governmental program called, "No tax payer left behind". Of course, no one will be left behind, except Mr. Geithner, but I think that is only common sense"
"All of this would not have been possible unless you had decid ...[text shortened]... as pleased to see they finally sold my Senate seat."
(Feel free to add your own)