Tabloid headlines, remember any good ones?

Here is one from today:
"Time Travel Dog From The Future Held Captive" I got a giggle out that one!
This has to be an all time classic:
"Space aliens came down and raped my weed-eater and I have the
Bent weed-eater to prove it!"

Anyone else remember any good ones? Not made up, actual
tabloid headlines.

"Two-headed Man Runs for Mayor"
"World's Fattest Cat" (shows a picture of a ten foot tall black blob with a tiny head on top)

WW11 Bomber found on the moon.

Then a week later; WW11 Bomber disappears from moon.


My favourite was the other week, "Sling Your Hook" aimed at Abu Hamza.

The Sun is the ultimate tabloid:
"Freddie Starr ate my hamster"
"Gotcha!" under picture of the Argentinian battleship General Belgrano sinking.
"Up Yours Delors" accompanied by two finger sticking up - aimed at the French President.

3 Inch Dog Ate My Missus [The Sunday Sport]

Baby Adopted By Ants [Sun]

Walking Catfish Eats Farmer [National Examiner]

Zebra born with horizontal stripes!

#5 of the top ten....
http://www.citynewsstand.com/TopTen.htm

After relative minnows Inverness Caledonian Thistle knocked Celtic - one of the two biggest teams in Scotland - out of the Scottish Cup, a junior sub-editor at 'The Sun' came up with:

"Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious"

Originally posted by xs
Zebra born with horizontal stripes!

#5 of the top ten....
http://www.citynewsstand.com/TopTen.htm

'Elton takes David up the aisle'.

Originally posted by Redmike
'Elton takes David up the aisle'.

Super Cally were Fantastic Celtic were atrocious-

I think I have that right - a soccer headline anyway after Celtic were embarrased by a lesser tam

Personally, I was a big fan of the Bat Boy saga.
http://www.wm.edu/theatre/BatBoyFBI.jpg

Originally posted by rbmorris
Personally, I was a big fan of the Bat Boy saga.
http://www.wm.edu/theatre/BatBoyFBI.jpg

''Squirrel runs down mans trousers looking for nuts'' (The Sun, I think)