Carolyn Webster-Stratton designed a series of groups for parents who were struggling with oppositional children. Her outcomes were really good although they weren't always reproduced in other centres. One of the important themes that she seemed to show parents, was that they didn't need to get the last word. She was very much an advocate of only fighting the battles that actually matter. She pointed out the paradox that battling for the last word with a child gives away authority, despite parents feeling at the time that they are battling to gain the upper hand.
@hakima saidThank you for the topic.
When I was a child, I heard my parents arguing. My father said to my mother, “You seem to need to have the last word.”
My mother retorted, “No, I don’t.”
My father looked at her momentarily, smiled, and then walked out of the room.
It was a lesson that stays with me.
In fact there are several aspects to "having the last word"
* I think originally the intention was that in a good discussion when the last argument has been brought forward and a conclusion has been reached, having had the last word was something of an honour. The person bringing things to a conclusion
* Now in my experince it is mainly used as an ad hominem argument in the sense: "you actually don't hve anything more to ass, but want to appear to have won the battle...so have the last word" Or as my father put it: "you are right and I am in peace" (Which in fact says the oppoiste And I know I am Captain Obvious some times)
* We do have people who can't end a conversation, since they think it is polite to reply...if you have two friendly people dialogues can become very awkward.
* Most people would agree, that Death has the last word on our lives. Some are not happy about this ...
@hakima saidMy experience is that some arguments can get so nasty that they have to be curtailed! I will be the first to back down for the sake of ending the misery, then have an early night to sleep it off.
It would have been interesting if it had been my mother who had stopped, smiles, and walked out of the room after my father’s comment. In fact, I wish she had.
@drewnogal saidI try not to have the last word because that is often a word I will regret.
My experience is that some arguments can get so nasty that they have to be curtailed! I will be the first to back down for the sake of ending the misery, then have an early night to sleep it off.
@torunn saidI've been known to have the last word a few times! 😉
I try not to have the last word because that is often a word I will regret.
-VR
@very-rusty saidi would like to know details of the exhilaration you feel at typing into the chatbox those words you feel destined to be the final ones of that particular thread, regardless of which thread or topic being discussed
I've been known to have the last word a few times! 😉
-VR
does yer pulse quicken when you sense the end is near?
do yer toes curl, even a little bit?
does yer body temperature rise a degree fahrenheit?
do you get that heady feeling of supreme power over the uncontrollable?
do you make sure the pathway to the bathroom is clear?
2 edits
@rookie54 saidDo you find any of these questions relevant? 😛 😉
i would like to know details of the exhilaration you feel at typing into the chatbox those words you feel destined to be the final ones of that particular thread, regardless of which thread or topic being discussed
does yer pulse quicken when you sense the end is near?
do yer toes curl, even a little bit?
does yer body temperature rise a degree fahrenheit?
do you ...[text shortened]... of supreme power over the uncontrollable?
do you make sure the pathway to the bathroom is clear?
Do you have a feeling you may have wasted time asking them? 😉
-VR
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@ponderable saidPerhaps a name change is needed for the last word
Thank you for the topic.
In fact there are several aspects to "having the last word"
* I think originally the intention was that in a good discussion when the last argument has been brought forward and a conclusion has been reached, having had the last word was something of an honour. The person bringing things to a conclusion
* Now in my experince it is mainly us ...[text shortened]... ost people would agree, that Death has the last word on our lives. Some are not happy about this ...
How about "The last Word Loser"? 😉
Or
Thread Killing Loser?
-VR
@rookie54 saidIt never occurred to me it could be that good. Please let this be the last post of the thread. I'm off to find some sandals in anticipation of the toe curling. Maybe a bucket of ice. Where can I get a Fahrenheit thermometer? (Rhetorical, it was rhetorical).
i would like to know details of the exhilaration you feel at typing into the chatbox those words you feel destined to be the final ones of that particular thread, regardless of which thread or topic being discussed
does yer pulse quicken when you sense the end is near?
do yer toes curl, even a little bit?
does yer body temperature rise a degree fahrenheit?
do you ...[text shortened]... of supreme power over the uncontrollable?
do you make sure the pathway to the bathroom is clear?
@relentless-red saidI guess, I'll have to have the last word now! 😛 🙂
It never occurred to me it could be that good. Please let this be the last post of the thread. I'm off to find some sandals in anticipation of the toe curling. Maybe a bucket of ice. Where can I get a Fahrenheit thermometer? (Rhetorical, it was rhetorical).
-VR
@relentless-red saidit's spelled "rectal"
It never occurred to me it could be that good. Please let this be the last post of the thread. I'm off to find some sandals in anticipation of the toe curling. Maybe a bucket of ice. Where can I get a Fahrenheit thermometer? (Rhetorical, it was rhetorical).
yer welcome