Too many questions

On the thread list, too many questions. We want answers people.
Don't make me slap you.

After every flight, QANTAS pilots fill out a form, known as a 'gripe sheet' to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form.

Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a 'P'😉 and the solutions recorded (marked by an 'S'😉 by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humour:

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced.

P: Test flight OK, auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed in cockpit.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

how hard will you slap me?

where?

what if i tell on you?

who put you in charge?

one answer:



































coming soon

Originally posted by coquette
how hard will you slap me?

where?

what if i tell on you?

who put you in charge?

one answer:



































coming soon

Again with the questions 😠

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
Again with the questions 😠

what's your point?

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
make me slap you.

OOH!!!
and then i get to ravish you???

Originally posted by coquette
how hard will you slap me?

where?

what if i tell on you?

who put you in charge?

one answer:



































coming soon

Q: how hard will you slap me?
A: Delightfully crisply

Q: where?
A: Where your mother would most likely disapprove of

Q: what if I tell on you?
A: Then you're bragging

Q: who put you in charge?
A: You did, right after you took the ball gag out of my mouth. (Did I say that out loud?)

Originally posted by Frank Burns
Q: how hard will you slap me?
A: Delightfully crisply

Q: where?
A: Where your mother would most likely disapprove of

Q: what if I tell on you?
A: Then you're bragging

Q: who put you in charge?
A: You did, right after you took the ball gag out of my mouth. (Did I say that out loud?)

Someone should wash this bad boy's mouth out with heavy duty Lava Soap!!