Tourists

A tourist comes up to my friend one day with a map and asks him, How do we get to this here street? pointing at a place on the map, which was in fact the street we were on. My friend looks at him and says, This here street isn't This Here street, this here street is That There street. The tourist looks a little befuddled and asks, This here street isn't This Here street? Of course not!, says my friend, You don't want this here street, you want (pointing at the spot on the map) that there street. I'll be damned., says the tourist.
friend: Is it not confusing?
tourist: No, it is confusing.
Omni: Don't it get more confusing with lots of street names?
tourist: ....I don't know what to say.
friend: Don't you think we ought to call all streets by one name?
tourists wife: Now we're talking.
Omni: I thought I was talking.
friend: Enough talking! I can't talk and give directions.
There is a long pause.....
tourist: ......uh.....thanks for your help.
Omni and friend: Anytime!

Some of the best jokes are the ones that you didn't plan for, but just happened. I know this sounds really looney-tune, but I swear we actually pulled this off on some schmuck the other day.

Tourists, we love you, but when you come to visit don't forget to pack your brain.

Doesn't that always hgappen?

Originally posted by Omnislash
SNIP...

Tourists, we love you, but when you come to visit don't forget to pack your brain.

Originally posted by Omnislash
A tourist comes up to my friend one day with a map and asks him, How do we get to this here street? pointing at a place on the map, which was in fact the street we were on. My friend looks at him and says, This here street isn't This Here street, this here street is That There street. The tourist looks a little befuddled and asks, This here street isn't ...[text shortened]... .

Tourists, we love you, but when you come to visit don't forget to pack your brain.

this reminds me of the "bash your head on th keyboard ten times and" thread.

now we just need phlabibit to shed some light on the styles available.

I believe it was Mark Twain who said there is no laughter in heaven, being that all humor is based upon misfortune of one kind or another. Perhaps I am a cruel individual, but if a person can't be bothered to look at the huge banner above their head reading MAIN STREET......

tourists are wieird. i met one in virgin music stores or whatever it's called-and he was asking what album was the best. i ended up shouting at him without relising it 😛 good stuff!

Tourists deserve all they get! We used to send them miles in the wrong direction, funny for us, and yes a total lack of respect, but hey did i mention that it was funny?