Here are a few points to ponder:
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents?
Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT : We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration...
Originally posted by aspviper666Very good mate, should send them over to Iraq too to find the weapons of mass distruction and Bin Laden.
Here are a few points to ponder:
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT : We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration...
You may be familiar with the if..then moves in postal chess
if you play this...i will play that.
These are all original aspviper666isms
1.if... "They will steal anything that isn't nailed down." Then ..."You need to nail down more stuff."
2.if... "Opinions are like a$$es, everyone has one." then....
"You need to kick people in their opinion."
3.if... "The pen is mightier than the sword." then... "Get your papermate I'll get my katana, and see who wins."
4.if ...."When God closes a door,He opens a window."
then..... "Why am I in a cardboard box?"
5.if..."Crime doesn't pay."
then..."It must be government run."
6.if..."Jesus saves" then..."does he roll over the yearly into a shielded IRA account?"
7.if..."We are intelligently designed."then..."Why are people so stupid?"
8.if..."You don't stop running with scissors in your hands
you will fall down,break your neck.and put someone's eye out." then ..."Why isnt this a stunt mans ultimate stunt?"
9.if..."You have nothing to fear,but fear itself."then...
"Why does all that other stuff scare me?"
10.if..."Knowledge is power."
then..."Why do the fools have the power?"
