I don't know much about computers, but isn't it possible when I'm playing a game online, with my opponent online as well, for the opponent to see my move when I make it, and vice versa. This way the online games will feel more like a real chessgame, not having to refresh all the time either here or at my e-mail.
The e-mail system works fine, with only one player online at a time.
Since this is a correspondence chess site, what you have now is about as good as it will get (with you and your opponent both logged on and having to hit the refresh button.)
However, Russ is working on getting a seperate live game program put together, but that project is temporarily on hold. There is a seperate forum here for that subject. (see RHP live)
Hope that helps,
regards, Marc