A new way to lose in five moves

That is a funny story - although sorry it made your daughter cry....

The loud part reminds me of the song from Mary Poppins

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you’ll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

When I was eight years old, I played a game against a friend that showed what seems to be a novel way of losing against an intended Scholar's Mate. I played as white: