Originally posted by pawndevourer
I'm in a tournament right now. And i need help. I always stay nervous. And I think that this nervous-ness will keep me from playing my best.
1. Bring 12 pack of beer to table, chug one after each capture.
2. Consult "Magic 8 Ball" (yes, no, maybe later...) for next move.
3. Juggle during opponent's move.
4. Play blindfolded or with those eyeball glasses that poker guy wears.
5. Move then tell opponent, " I have to go check my other games".
6. Offer bribe. Offer to buy his women. Offer $20 for his rook.
7. Bring laptop to table. Glance back and forth between board and screen before moving. If he objects, claim you're just looking at porn.
8. Bring bikini clad woman to table with you. Call your moves out loud, but let her make them on the board. Kiss after each move.