A recent article in NW Chess that hit a nerve with me.
Why Does Losing Sting So Much?
-Nobel Ang
In an interview on the Perpetual
Chess Podcast, entrepreneur and US
Chess Master James Altucher puts the
points this way (I’m paraphrasing):
“We are all primates, and since
the beginning of primate-kind,
primates have belonged to tribes
where each member is ranked from
alpha to omega according to some
metric or other. Being humans, we
have the additional ability to choose
our own tribe. Since I am a chess
enthusiast, I have basically chosen
the Chess Tribe. Because I have
chosen to be in the chess tribe, I
care deeply about how I do at chess,
and base my self-worth and maybe
even self-identity on how I stack up
relative to other chess players (i.e.,
other members of the tribe). If I lose
a tournament game, I don’t just lose
rating points, I actually move down
the tribe’s totem pole. I am being
pushed to the outer edges of the tribe
by the tribe’s alpha males, where I am
more likely to be eaten by wolves.”
I think Altucher’s story may be the
best explanation of the sting of losing
at chess I’ve heard in a long time (or
maybe ever). Maybe I shouldn’t take
things too literally, but I wonder who the
wolves are that Altucher is talking about.
Underrated kids, maybe? But joking
aside, this actually makes a lot of sense:
If I lose to a kid (especially a lower-rated
one, as opposed to, say, James Wei), I am
basically being pushed down the totem
pole by a supposedly more junior and less
alpha member of the tribe. And then I get
the feeling that whether or not I am even
allowed to remain in the tribe basically
depends on his good graces.
Thoughts?
@mchill saidI think you're obsessed with chess
A recent article in NW Chess that hit a nerve with me.
Why Does Losing Sting So Much?
-Nobel Ang
In an interview on the Perpetual
Chess Podcast, entrepreneur and US
Chess Master James Altucher puts the
points this way (I’m paraphrasing):
“We are all primates, and since
the beginning of primate-kind,
primates have belonged to tribes
where each member is ranke ...[text shortened]... not I am even
allowed to remain in the tribe basically
depends on his good graces.
Thoughts?
just enjoy the game
no one is going to remember you or your games of chess
but I'm an old man well past my prime and soon to be forgotten
good luck to you
If I lose a game that I conducted to the best of my ability (or nearly so) but was outplayed, I hardly feel bad at all.
But if I feel that my play was sub-par, it bothers me irrespective of the result of the game.
Although it's natural for a competitor's self-concept to be affected by the person's degree of success, I think most of us would be advised to view competition as a journey rather than to react strongly to the result of any one game.
I'm reminded of advice given by a golf instructor whose name escapes me: Many golfers believe that if they play better, they'll enjoy the game more. But I think that if they learn to enjoy the game more, they'll play better.
There's another aspect to winning and losing and that is incentive.
If I win ,what do I gain?
If I lose,what do I lose?
On here,except from a personal point of view as mentioned it doesn't really matter
Digressing somewhat,I do think this is a major problem in professional sport,particularly football where players are actively encouraged to fall down to con the referee into awarding a free kick.The incentive of course is MONEY!
@lemondrop saidI think you're obsessed with chess
I think you're obsessed with chess
just enjoy the game
no one is going to remember you or your games of chess
but I'm an old man well past my prime and soon to be forgotten
good luck to you
Obsessed? Not as much as you might think, and I do enjoy the game in all its complexity.
I do think however, there is within all of us a mental tipping point (for lack of a better term) between Steve Gillians's philosophy "enjoying the ride" and Vince Lombardi's "if winning isn't important, then why do they keep score?"
@mchill saidI should not have judged you
I think you're obsessed with chess
Obsessed? Not as much as you might think, and I do enjoy the game in all its complexity.
I do think however, there is within all of us a mental tipping point (for lack of a better term) between Steve Gillians's philosophy "enjoying the ride" and Vince Lombardi's "if winning isn't important, then why do they keep score?"
maybe passion would have been a better choice of words
Going back to my O.T.B. days when I lost of course I got fed up,
I even had 'that's it - I'm never going to play this stupid game again' moments.
But I always came back and the joy of winning always had a greater effect.
The danger is (although I've not experienced it so I could be wrong.)
Is when the fear of defeat and the sorrow it brings outweighs the
pleasure one gets from the game. Then is the time to worry.
But as 99% of us here do not depend on chess for our livelihood.
(at least I hope not, I've seen your games!) let's us not talk of the misery of
losing a game but of the sheer pleasure and joy that knowing of the game
and playing it can bring.
Remember your Tarrasch:
“I have always a slight feeling of pity for the man who has no knowledge of
chess, just as I would pity the man who has remained ignorant of love.
Chess, like love, like music, has the power to make man happy.”
I believe someone said something along the lines of...
To get good at chess you need to lose a lot.
Just my tuppence but seems losing is always going to happen no matter how good you are. As long as you learn from it. I try to enjoy the journey ... Trying to develop the attitude of enjoying the game prevents what some people term tilting or triggered.