Desperate flirtations

*I'm so terribly lonely. It's been ages since I talked to a girl, really... I badly need someone to flirt with me. Please, just someone with a remotely feminine sounding name, or a picture that remotely resembles a human female. I'll believe you, honest! Even if you're really a guy who gets off on pretending to be a girl...as long as you can fool me, I don't care.

Yes, I know it's a puzzles forum, but I'm so desperate, I don't care! In every other forum, there's too much activity and my thread falls off the first page. This is the only good place I can meet people! Nevermind the fact that there's a forum specifically meeting people...

* - inspired by some of the recent posts in this forum

I'll cover it by throwing in a cheesy puzzle to confuse the mods.

White mates in 3

And I'll make you fools wait two whole weeks for the bloody answer!

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
And I'll make you fools wait two whole weeks for the bloody answer!

Originally posted by Bowmann
Make it one, and I'll introduce you to my sister.

A joke it may be, but I'd have put it on Bowmann to post a broken problem round here 😀.

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
You would hook her up with a Yank? She must be the unpopular one of the family.

Originally posted by Peakite
A joke it may be, but I'd have put it on Bowmann to post a broken problem round here 😀.

Originally posted by TheMaster37
White can Mate in 2 as well. The question is if you can find how white mates in three :p