*I'm so terribly lonely. It's been ages since I talked to a girl, really... I badly need someone to flirt with me. Please, just someone with a remotely feminine sounding name, or a picture that remotely resembles a human female. I'll believe you, honest! Even if you're really a guy who gets off on pretending to be a girl...as long as you can fool me, I don't care.
Yes, I know it's a puzzles forum, but I'm so desperate, I don't care! In every other forum, there's too much activity and my thread falls off the first page. This is the only good place I can meet people! Nevermind the fact that there's a forum specifically meeting people...
* - inspired by some of the recent posts in this forum
I'll cover it by throwing in a cheesy puzzle to confuse the mods.
White mates in 3
And I'll make you fools wait two whole weeks for the bloody answer!