1. Joined
    16 Jan '07
    Moves
    95105
    01 Feb '12 13:191 edit
    1 How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.

    2 Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.

    3 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.

    4 Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.

    5 Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries.

    6 How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

    7 This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.

    8 I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;

    9 And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.

    10 I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

    11 Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages.

    12 Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves.

    13 The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.


    oh yeah baby, some hot sexy, drug taking action from the bible. try a few lines on your partners tonight. im going to tell my missus that "her breasts are like a cluster of grapes". she will be putty in my hands.
  2. PenTesting
    Joined
    04 Apr '04
    Moves
    249786
    01 Feb '12 13:39
    Originally posted by stellspalfie
    1 How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.

    2 Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.

    3 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.

    4 Thy neck is as a t ...[text shortened]... ll my missus that "her breasts are like a cluster of grapes". she will be putty in my hands.
    See ? The Bible is not all bad. You are learning how to be a good husband.
  3. Joined
    11 Nov '05
    Moves
    43938
    01 Feb '12 15:25
    Originally posted by Rajk999
    See ? The Bible is not all bad. You are learning how to be a good husband.
    So the bible is pornographic? That's why it is so popular among celibatary priests and cardinals?
  4. Standard memberSwissGambit
    Caninus Interruptus
    2014.05.01
    Joined
    11 Apr '07
    Moves
    92274
    01 Feb '12 16:24
    Originally posted by FabianFnas
    So the bible is pornographic? That's why it is so popular among celibatary priests and cardinals?
    Not very effective porn at that ... instead of lusting after women, they chase young boys... 😞
  5. Joined
    11 Nov '05
    Moves
    43938
    01 Feb '12 16:39
    Originally posted by SwissGambit
    Not very effective porn at that ... instead of lusting after women, they chase young boys... 😞
    Don't bring up Jehova Witness in the discussion. The JWers are very touchy...
  6. PenTesting
    Joined
    04 Apr '04
    Moves
    249786
    01 Feb '12 17:03
    Originally posted by FabianFnas
    So the bible is pornographic? That's why it is so popular among celibatary priests and cardinals?
    Pornographic ? I thought it was more like romantic poetry.
  7. Joined
    16 Jan '07
    Moves
    95105
    01 Feb '12 17:08
    this is proper bible porn, check this out, it made me blush!

    "Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." (Ezekiel 23: 19-21)

    ISSUE OF HORSES!!!!!!! im guessing she must be a spitter.
  8. PenTesting
    Joined
    04 Apr '04
    Moves
    249786
    01 Feb '12 17:371 edit
    Originally posted by stellspalfie
    this is proper bible porn, check this out, it made me blush!

    "Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." (Ezekiel 23: 19-21)

    ISSUE OF HORSES!!!!!!! im guessing she must be a spitter.
    THAT ?!! That made you blush? Are you a 10 yr old kid? Sure seems that way. I think Jaywill has a point. Every little un-thought-out idea that hits your little brain you start a thread? That is a sure sign of immaturity.
  9. Joined
    16 Jan '07
    Moves
    95105
    01 Feb '12 17:51
    Originally posted by Rajk999
    THAT ?!! That made you blush? Are you a 10 yr old kid? Sure seems that way. I think Jaywill has a point. Every little un-thought-out idea that hits your little brain you start a thread? That is a sure sign of immaturity.
    hey ive lived a sheltered life!! im just messing, i didnt blush. i did giggle like a schoolboy and spit my tea out though.

    its all sticks and stones my friend.

    what kind of crazy stuff are you into if you dont find the imagery of a woman having sex with a man wh cums like a horse a bit shocking in the bible? have you seen a horse cum? its like gallons of the stuff!!!
  10. Standard memberSwissGambit
    Caninus Interruptus
    2014.05.01
    Joined
    11 Apr '07
    Moves
    92274
    01 Feb '12 19:32
    Originally posted by stellspalfie
    a man wh cums like a horse
    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse; horses are hung like Chuck Norris. 😀
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