adam and the lonely p**is

why did god create eve? im guessing adam wasnt fully functional downstairs. there would be no point in giving him urges if there was nothing to have urges about. which also begs the questions - was adams penis originally just for urinating? and - did adam have testicles? without the need for erectile tissue, was it just a thin tube? anywhooooooo (enough penis chat). when adam decided he needed company. what on earth was god thinking?!?!? why create woman?!?! if sex and babies wasnt on gods radar at the time, why didnt he just give adam a drinking buddy? just create another dude so they can get drunk, play sports, talk about sports, get drunk and compare external urine tube sizes.
when god creates eve, why did he make her so god damn appealing?!?!? what was he thinking. what was the point, what did he think was going to happen?

Originally posted by stellspalfie
why did god create eve? im guessing adam wasnt fully functional downstairs. there would be no point in giving him urges if there was nothing to have urges about. which also begs the questions - was adams penis originally just for urinating? and - did adam have testicles? without the need for erectile tissue, was it just a thin tube? anywhooooooo (enough ...[text shortened]... appealing?!?!? what was he thinking. what was the point, what did he think was going to happen?

Wow.
Do you even read?

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
Wow.
Do you even read?

do i 'even' read? strange use of the word 'even'. did you miss a sentence off the beginning? such as.

you exhibit the writing skills of a brain dead monkey.....do you even read?

did you forget what the sentence was because you were too busy being overly amazed by my op?

Originally posted by stellspalfie
do i [b]'even' read? strange use of the word 'even'. did you miss a sentence off the beginning? such as.

you exhibit the writing skills of a brain dead monkey.....do you even read?

did you forget what the sentence was because you were too busy being overly amazed by my op?[/b]

One.
Her name wasn't Eve.

Two.
God created the woman (Isha) to complete man, therefore, it stands to reason that she would be everything he would want.
God didn't create the woman based on Adam's request; He created her based on His knowledge.

Three.
The amount of time that man was without the woman is specifically unknown, but from the narrative, it is believed the time was relatively short.
Therefore, the question of his libido isn't overly significant.

Four.
Sex was definitely on the radar.
Sex was intended to be the one break--- the vacation--- from paradise.

Five.
He knew everything that would happen, everything that will happen.
Nothing surprises Him.
Not even your ignorance.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
One.
Her name wasn't Eve.

Two.
God created the woman (Isha) to complete man, therefore, it stands to reason that she would be everything he would want.
God didn't create the woman based on Adam's request; He created her based on His knowledge.

Three.
The amount of time that man was without the woman is specifically unknown, but from the narrative ...[text shortened]... would happen, everything that will happen.
Nothing surprises Him.
Not even your ignorance.

"Her name wasn't Eve."

seems to be in most of the translations ive seen. so im pretty sure its no major problem. some might say you are being rather pedantic.

"God created the woman (Isha) to complete man, therefore, it stands to reason that she would be everything he would want.
God didn't create the woman based on Adam's request; He created her based on His knowledge."

'Isha' ha! sorry i do apologize for not using the ancient hebrew text. do you find yourself thumbing through modern bibles tutting.

if god had created adam 'to want a woman' why did he hesitate to create one? why did adam have to ask? god had already given adam the plumbing, so he knew what adams wanted, he knew because he built adam to want it.

The amount of time that man was without the woman is specifically unknown, but from the narrative, it is believed the time was relatively short.
Therefore, the question of his libido isn't overly significant.

time not known, but it was short?????? how short a week, month, year, million years.

Sex was definitely on the radar.
Sex was intended to be the one break--- the vacation--- from paradise.

my understanding is that they were banished from paradise for the whole tree of knowledge fiasco, or fruit-gate, as it became to be known. i assumed the sex didnt begin until afterwards as it resulted in eve getting knocked-up. if they were at it before the fall, why didnt adam put one in eves oven?

He knew everything that would happen, everything that will happen.
Nothing surprises Him.
Not even your ignorance

which makes it all rather pointless.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
'Isha' [not "Eve"] ha! sorry i do apologize for not using the ancient hebrew text.

Whether you apologize or not, you have to bear in mind that FreakyKBH reckons he has kicked a bit of cyber sand in your face.

Originally posted by FMF
Whether you apologize or not, you have to bear in mind that FreakyKBH reckons he has kicked a bit of cyber sand in your face.

well he may walk up and down the sandy beach of religious knowledge, flexing his well oiled, bronzed muscles of ancient hebrew, re-adjusting his ray-bans of scripture while he kicks the sand of pedantic point scoring in my eyes. but he's gotta come of the beach at some point. ill be waiting down the back streets of rational thought and the side alleys of logical thinking and abandoned train tracks of common sense with my baseball bat of.....erm......wood (sorry ran out back street/scientific thinking analogies).

Originally posted by stellspalfie
why did god create eve? im guessing adam wasnt fully functional downstairs. there would be no point in giving him urges if there was nothing to have urges about. which also begs the questions - was adams penis originally just for urinating? and - did adam have testicles? without the need for erectile tissue, was it just a thin tube? anywhooooooo (enough ...[text shortened]... appealing?!?!? what was he thinking. what was the point, what did he think was going to happen?

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

(Genesis 1:27-28 NASB)

HalleluYah !!! Praise the Lord! Glory be to God! Holy! Holy! Holy!

The following parable that you refer to is relating man's idea of the thought process that God might have had in His decision to make mankind. There was never any intention on God's part of making a single man with no ability to reproduce like all the other creatures.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
well he may walk up and down the sandy beach of religious knowledge, flexing his well oiled, bronzed muscles of ancient hebrew, re-adjusting his ray-bans of scripture while he kicks the sand of pedantic point scoring in my eyes. but he's gotta come of the beach at some point. ill be waiting down the back streets of rational thought and the side alleys o ...[text shortened]... my baseball bat of.....erm......wood (sorry ran out back street/scientific thinking analogies).

Logic. Baseball bat of compelling logic.

Originally posted by RJHinds
[b]God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

(Genesis 1:27-28 NASB)
...[text shortened]... n God's part of making a single man with no ability to reproduce like all the other creatures.[/b]

if god wanted man to multiply why did he wait to create eve? surly he would have automatically created adam and eve.

also if adam and eve were to live in paradise with other animals, all living for very long lives and having lots of human and animal babies, the population would quickly go off the scale...where would everybody live and what would they eat?

Originally posted by stellspalfie
"Her name wasn't Eve."

seems to be in most of the translations ive seen. so im pretty sure its no major problem. some might say you are being rather pedantic.
"God created the woman (Isha) to complete man, therefore, it stands to reason that she would be everything he would want.
God didn't create the woman based on Adam's request; He created her surprises Him.
Not even your ignorance[/b]

which makes it all rather pointless.[/b]

seems to be in most of the translations ive seen. so im pretty sure its no major problem. some might say you are being rather pedantic.

In "most of the translations" you've read, eh?

http://bible.cc/genesis/3-20.htm

Genesis 3:20 (post-Fall) is the first time the name Eve is mentioned. All other descriptions prior to this naming by the man have her as "the woman."
This link offers some 17 different translations and the ability to go verse by verse in any direction, so you can test your assertion of her being called Eve in the Garden.

The results are one of the reasons I asked if you even read.

You may consider such details trivial, but such carelessness and lack of concern lead first to slightly misleading generalizations and ultimately (as evidenced in your OP) bone-headed speculations.

do you find yourself thumbing through modern bibles tutting.
Um, yes?
Most translations are--- at best--- deplorable.
Why?
Because they don't start with a clean slate nor do are they informed with adequate disciplined learning.
But, that's the source of a whole other conversation.
Let's get back to you.

if god had created adam 'to want a woman' why did he hesitate to create one?
Why did He do anything in the order He did?

why did adam have to ask?
I know it won't be insulting for me to ask this, since you clearly didn't read it the first time, so...
Do you even read?
The man didn't ask.
God said it wasn't good for man to be alone.

time not known, but it was short?????? how short a week, month, year, million years.
He named the animals.
How long do you think that took?

my understanding is that they were banished from paradise for the whole tree of knowledge fiasco, or fruit-gate, as it became to be known.
Well, I think I see where your problem starts.
You see those first two words at the beginning of the above statement: "my understanding?"
That's the problem.
You don't understand because (just like the crappy translations out there), you come to the book with a slate full of half-cooked ideas and literally zero training in the disciplines which would help you get a clear idea of what is being said.
They ate the fruit of a tree from which they were told not to eat.
The fruit was not magical, it was allegorical.
It's flesh and juice were not the issue; eating of it was the issue.
She ate because she was tricked into thinking God knew something she didn't (obviously, He did!).
He ate it because he didn't want to be alone.

i assumed the sex didnt begin until afterwards as it resulted in eve getting knocked-up. if they were at it before the fall, why didnt adam put one in eves oven?
I see your problem again.
"i assumed."
Do you even read?
They were already one flesh.

which makes it all rather pointless.
I disagree.

Originally posted by stellspalfie
well he may walk up and down the sandy beach of religious knowledge, flexing his well oiled, bronzed muscles of ancient hebrew, re-adjusting his ray-bans of scripture while he kicks the sand of pedantic point scoring in my eyes. but he's gotta come of the beach at some point. ill be waiting down the back streets of rational thought and the side alleys o ...[text shortened]... my baseball bat of.....erm......wood (sorry ran out back street/scientific thinking analogies).

I was kinda enjoying your description.

Maybe too much.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
The fruit was not magical, it was allegorical.

Are the allegorical bits in your bible in a different typeface?

Ever thought maybe its all allegorical?

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
[bi]time not known, but it was short?????? how short a week, month, year, million years.[/i]
He named the animals.
How long do you think that took?

With 10,000 animal species being discovered each year probably quite a while!
(And I presume he had to name the 100million + which are now extinct?)

Originally posted by stellspalfie
if god wanted man to multiply why did he wait to create eve? surly he would have automatically created adam and eve.

also if adam and eve were to live in paradise with other animals, all living for very long lives and having lots of human and animal babies, the population would quickly go off the scale...where would everybody live and what would they eat?

The creation of man, male and female, all happened in one day. That seems pretty fast to me. 😏