There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin. She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like "Oo ya lookin at?" Gabriel just goes, "You got one up the duff, you have". She gives it to him large "Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!" So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's like "Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra weez gonna get on the social an' that." Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Beflehem. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their 'eads.
They're like "Respect, bay-bee Jesus" and say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: "If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?"