Originally posted by borissa
A wonderful quote from Martin Luther King Jr which I would like to share with you...
"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase"
So when people nit-pick the Bible and worry about tiny details (which, after all, have probably been changed by translation) maybe they should step back, feel the life in themselves and marvel ven if you're not sure who you're thanking. That's your first step. Enjoy the staircase.
Hello and welcome aboard Christianity. If you're going to Heaven, you're in the right place. If you're not going to Heaven, you're about to have a really long and boring flight.
We'd like to tell you now about some important safety features of this religion. The most important safety feature we have aboard this faith is . . . The Bible. Please look at one now.
There are 5 get-out-of-any-argument clauses aboard this faith, 2 at the front, 2 over the wings, and one out the faith’s rear end. If you're seated in one of the get-out-of-any-argument rows, please do not store your bags by your feet as you may impede other passengers.
Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest get-out-of-any-argument clause. Count the rows of seats between you and the exit. In the event that the need arises to find one, trust me, you'll be glad you did. We have pretty blinking lights on the floor that will blink in the direction of the clauses. White ones along the normal rows, and pretty red ones at the emergency clause rows.
In the event of a loss of faith pressure, zealously religious forum posters will drop down in front of you. Simply cower behind one and make a kissing motion on their behind until faith pressure is restored.
In the seat pocket in front of you will find a Bible detailing the safety features of this religion. Please read it so in the event of an emergency, you’re able to twist and interpret any information to suit your current argument.
Please take a moment now to make sure your circular arguments are fastened securely. To fasten the argument, simply ignore any non-Christian logic and insert your head up your own rectum. To release, find a pro-Christian website and continuously copy and paste links to and large sections of text from it.
There is no sinning allowed in the cabin on this flight. There is also no sinning in the lavatories. If we see sin coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are a heretic and oust you accordingly.
We're glad to have you travelling with us on board this religion. Thank you for choosing Christianity, and giving us your business and your money. If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don't ask since we won’t do anything until after you’ve died.