My contribution to spiritual humour for this festive season.
God's law is unchanging, but that leaves a few small posers (Cape Times,
I wish to thank Steve Thomas (December 9) for doing so much to educate
people regarding God's Law. I have learnt a great deal from his letter, and
when some people try to defend their homosexual lifestyle I will simply
refer them to Thomas' letter and remind them that Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13
clearly states it to be an abomination.
End of debate.
I do need some advice from him, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them:
* When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice I know it creates a
pleasing smell for the Lord - Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbours.
They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
* I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
* I know I am not allowed to have contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
* Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of
mine claims that this applies to Namibia, but not Zimbabwe. Can Thomas
clarify? Why can't I own a Zimbabwean?
* I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states she should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
* This same neighbour loves to eat prawns, but feels that, even though
eating shellfish is an abomination - Leviticus 11:10 - it is a lesser
abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can Thomas settle this?
* Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some manoevring room here?
* Most of my male friends get their hair cut, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by the Bible, in
Leviticus19:27. How should they die?
* My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
made of two different kinds of thread (cotton and polyster blend). He also
tends to curse a lot. Is it really necessary that we got to all the trouble
of getting the whole town of Stellenbosch together to stone them? -
Leviticus 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burnt them to death at a private
family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?
I know Thomas has studied these things extensively, so I am confident he
can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
IM van Niekerk, Woodstock