1. Standard memberorfeo
    Missing 285 + 1
    On a ship of fools
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    08 May '06 09:10
    1. Be aggressive at every opportunity.

    2. Be dogmatic. Assert rather than debate. Be convinced of the rightness of your position. Ignore any hint of irony that may result.

    3. Assume that everyone else is hanging upon your every word. Failure to respond to one of your brilliantly insightful points is a sign that the person has admitted the correctness of your opinion and repented.

    4. Where possible, miscontrue other people's meaning or intent. Given the ambiguities of language, this is achievable at least 90 per cent of the time.

    5. Be selective in your reading and comprehension. Pay attention to no more than one sentence per post. Where possible, avoid selecting a key sentence in the poster's argument.

    6. Avoid reading posts in context. Pay no attention to any previous posts by the same person.

    7. Ignore rule 6 for the purposes of pointing out an apparent inconsistency, but never ignore rule 5.

    8. Be pedantic, especially when invoking rule 7.

    9. Use insults on a regular basis. Begin by insulting opinions contrary to yours at a general level, then move on to insulting opinions of individuals. At a later stage, insult the intelligence of anyone who has persisted in posting.

    10. If things really get going, turn people's names into something vaguely insulting. If you struggle with this step, consult a schoolboy under the age of 14 for expert advice.
  2. Jo'Burg South Africa
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    08 May '06 09:48
    Originally posted by orfeo
    1. Be aggressive at every opportunity.

    2. Be dogmatic. Assert rather than debate. Be convinced of the rightness of your position. Ignore any hint of irony that may result.

    3. Assume that everyone else is hanging upon your every word. Failure to respond to one of your brilliantly insightful points is a sign that the person has admitted the correctness ...[text shortened]... . If you struggle with this step, consult a schoolboy under the age of 14 for expert advice.
    Correction...

    95% of RHP users concise spiritual debating guide.

    That sounds more realistic, anyone who wants not to agree? Is the figure to low? 😉
  3. Standard memberorfeo
    Missing 285 + 1
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    08 May '06 10:03
    Originally posted by Nicksten
    Correction...

    95% of RHP users concise spiritual debating guide.

    That sounds more realistic, anyone who wants not to agree? Is the figure to low? 😉
    Many try to apply these rules, but I can't think of any others who have mastered all of them. Only howard has reached true enlightenment.
  4. Jo'Burg South Africa
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    08 May '06 10:26
    Originally posted by orfeo
    Many try to apply these rules, but I can't think of any others who have mastered all of them. Only howard has reached true enlightenment.
    I have to remind you that many are trying their very best to master the master which gives me the following conclusion...

    Trying to Master
    + No one stopping them
    --------------------------
    = Will become one of the Masters

    =GETVALUE([Will become one of the Masters]+[My Opinion])

    GETVALUE = oink oink


    *I think I'm gonna be liked 😉
  5. Cosmos
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    09 May '06 00:39
    Originally posted by orfeo
    1. Be aggressive at every opportunity.

    2. Be dogmatic. Assert rather than debate. Be convinced of the rightness of your position. Ignore any hint of irony that may result.

    3. Assume that everyone else is hanging upon your every word. Failure to respond to one of your brilliantly insightful points is a sign that the person has admitted the correctness ...[text shortened]... . If you struggle with this step, consult a schoolboy under the age of 14 for expert advice.
    Orfeo's technique can be summed up in 2 words: be wrong.

    "4. Where possible, miscontrue other people's meaning or intent. Given the ambiguities of language, this is achievable at least 90 per cent of the time."

    I assume you mean "misconstrue" here. Or did I miscontrue you?
  6. Standard memberXanthosNZ
    Cancerous Bus Crash
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    09 May '06 01:26
    Originally posted by howardgee
    Orfeo's technique can be summed up in 2 words: be wrong.

    "4. Where possible, miscontrue other people's meaning or intent. Given the ambiguities of language, this is achievable at least 90 per cent of the time."

    I assume you mean "misconstrue" here. Or did I miscontrue you?
    Oh God it's like you fufilled every single point in one succinct post.
  7. Standard memberorfeo
    Missing 285 + 1
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    09 May '06 02:16
    Rules 2, 8 and 9 at least, but a pretty poor effort. Admittedly, a couple of rules can't be invoked until the thread has developed a bit further, but I still expected more.

    Deduct one point for lack of originality and imagination.
  8. Joined
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    09 May '06 05:02
    Originally posted by howardgee
    Orfeo's technique can be summed up in 2 words: be wrong.

    "4. Where possible, miscontrue other people's meaning or intent. Given the ambiguities of language, this is achievable at least 90 per cent of the time."

    I assume you mean "misconstrue" here. Or did I miscontrue you?
    I sure love good irony. Absolutely brilliant sir!
  9. Joined
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    09 May '06 05:041 edit
    Originally posted by XanthosNZ
    Oh God it's like you fufilled every single point in one succinct post.
    HA! I assume you meant fulfilled here, or did I just FUFILLED YOU!?
  10. silicon valley
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    09 May '06 06:29
    Originally posted by orfeo
    1. Be aggressive at every opportunity.

    2. Be dogmatic. Assert rather than debate. Be convinced of the rightness of your position. Ignore any hint of irony that may result.

    3. Assume that everyone else is hanging upon your every word. Failure to respond to one of your brilliantly insightful points is a sign that the person has admitted the correctness ...[text shortened]... . If you struggle with this step, consult a schoolboy under the age of 14 for expert advice.
    wait a sec, you misspelled "no1marauder" in the thread title.
  11. Standard memberorfeo
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    09 May '06 07:511 edit
    Originally posted by zeeblebot
    wait a sec, you misspelled "no1marauder" in the thread title.
    I thought of that. He fails on rules 3 and 10 at least (my two personal favourites), and arguably on 5 and 6, and therefore 7.

    Probably 8 as well, seeing as how he normally assaults substance and not spelling.
  12. SubscriberBigDoggProblem
    The Advanced Mind
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    09 May '06 20:43
    Originally posted by orfeo
    I thought of that. He fails on rules 3 and 10 at least (my two personal favourites), and arguably on 5 and 6, and therefore 7.

    Probably 8 as well, seeing as how he normally assaults substance and not spelling.
    He's shown promise at #10 - for example, changing "chancremechanic" into "cancerousmechanic".
  13. Standard memberorfeo
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    09 May '06 21:341 edit
    Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
    He's shown promise at #10 - for example, changing "chancremechanic" into "cancerousmechanic".
    Really? Must have missed that one.

    EDIT: Sorry, forgot the rules. What I should have said was that Doggs can't read, your hyphen should have been a full stop, and that seeing as how I know everything you're so obviously mistaken I don't need to acknowledge that you may have a point.
  14. SubscriberAThousandYoung
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    09 May '06 21:41
    Originally posted by orfeo
    I thought of that. He fails on rules 3 and 10 at least (my two personal favourites), and arguably on 5 and 6, and therefore 7.

    Probably 8 as well, seeing as how he normally assaults substance and not spelling.
    He calls aspviper "asswiper". There's your rule 10.
  15. Cosmos
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    10 May '06 01:51
    Originally posted by Ramiri15
    I sure love good irony. Absolutely brilliant sir!
    Thank you kindly, sir. Glad you enjoyed it.

    It's good to get some positive feedback sometimes - these religious numbskulls seem to have a humour bypass as part of their indoctrination routine.
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