I'm so Spiritual

Originally posted by GregM
Yeah, 'cause he got the idea from me.

I'm so spiritual, I offered my son as a sacrifice to God...without him even asking.

I'm so spiritual, I plan on a Third Coming.

I'm so UNspiritual, when Eve offered herself to me in the Garden of Eden, I ate.

I'm so spiritual, I could send God to hell for being an unjust, unforgiving control freak, a vindictive bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser, a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.

I'm so spiritual, I fasted in the desert for 41 days and nights.

I'm so spiritual, philosophers debate how many of me can dance on the head of a pin.

I'm so spiritual, I am the principal cause of pig suicide.

I'm so spiritual, Jesus does things in memory of me.

I'm so spiritual, I can get virgins pregnant.

I'm so UNspiritual, I commit immortal sins.

I'm so spiritual, schizophrenics hear me talking to them in their head.

I'm so spiritual, people exclaim "Pawno H. Keyhole!"