Meditation is a useful means for “sidestepping” all the busy-ness of the “artifactual” “somebody self” (sometimes called the ego-self, but that can be a loaded term). Nothing wrong with the somebody-self—it’s a wonderful treasure, as long as you realize that it’s contents is made-up. We all have gone through cultural, familial, social (etc. etc.) “somebody-ness training,” and some of the somebody-ness making we do ourselves. The question is, who is the “maker?” Once it gets going, it is quite capable, within its own parameters, of making and remaking itself over and over--for good or ill.
I use my personal koan: “Behind all the makings of my mind, before all images, thoughts and words, who—?” No glib answers! That is just more making! No making, just being, just being that who. Not focusing inward (certainly not focusing inwardly on the somebody-self, caught up in it’s endless makings—though it is interesting to “see” that), just being that who and, as Alan Watts put it, “grooving” with what’s going on around me—“grooving” as in being in harmonious synch with—listening to birdsong, feeding the goats, doing tai chi, mowing the grass, conversing with my friend…
Meditation itself is not the point. Routine is not the point. Taking time to “meditate” is, for me, taking time to remember that “I” am not all that busy-mind stuff (including thoughts of “I”—behind all the makings of your mind, can you find an “I” that is not just another thought, idea-complex, another making?). A daily “practice” of that helps me to “remember” more often—and live from that who a bit more—during my daily living. I still have a tendency to “forget” during all the doings of life. (I think it was Ram Dass who said that the most difficult thing is to remember—to remember to remember!)
I also have some Centering Prayer background, and first really found that who on an 8-day intensive retreat (the makings of the fabricated self fell away like pick-up sticks, and for the first time there was an immense, alive, aware silence).
Anyway, now that I’ve turned this whole thing all serious again—time to go work on the lawn-mower…. 🙂