Many of the participants of this forum are aware that I hold somewhat unique and what some would call liberal views on God and religion. Now, I am married to a woman who was raised in a religious tradition that is very strict on the literal interpratation of the Bible: WELS Lutheran. When we were dating and when we got married, she claimed to understand that I, at the time, claimed to be agnostic and did not believe in the Christian faith. She said it didn't bother her. In exchange I said it wouldn't bother me if she went to church and practiced her beliefs. (Side note: she did not follow any religion when we started dating. ) As time went on, so told me that she would like me to go to church with her. I said fine, it's just an hour of my day, of course after reaffirming that I had no intention of following the service or joining the religion.
As it turned out, that one hour of the week has become a brick in our relationship. She has become incresingling attached to attending this church, while my own theology has formed and strenthened mostly in responce to this immersion in a religion that I think is so far off track it becomes ridiculous. I have tried broaching the subject several times gently. We even began attending a more liberal thinking church for a while, but she said she "missed" her WELS churches, and I suddenly became afraid that she is much more indoctrinated than I previously thought.
Now we are back to attending WELS services every week, and it is driving me batty. We have a beautiful daughter together, and I fear not only that she will grow up confused, but also that the growing gulf between her mother and I will alienate her emotionally (an area in which she already seems fragile in).
One more catch: my wife suffers from fibromyalgia, and also has several annoying heath problems on top of all that. She is in constant discomfort; she has to take a handful of pills just so she can sleep a fitful sleep before our child wakes us both up (several times a night).
I truly love my wife, my child, and my family. What should I do? Should I continue to suffer as I have been? Should a drop an ultimatum and say that I refuse to attend her church, causing her more stress and probably more pain, both emotionally and physically? Should I just continually make my opinions known, which is probaly worse than the second choice? Is there another option?
One thing is for sure, I don't like the situation in which whenever I think of God, I think of harm to my family and marriage.
I do not want any Biblical quotes, please. Any such posts will me summarily ignored. I only wish to know what each of you would do in this situation. Christians, imagine the wife is atheist or an extreme liberal. All opinions welcome.
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