1. Standard memberroyalchicken
    CHAOS GHOST!!!
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    15 Mar '05 04:16
    Hello. In one of your posts, you said that one should help one's friends avoid hell. I think I may have committed a few sins: I'm a rationalist, an atheist, a skeptic, generally a Bayesian and have some socially liberal views. I smoke, drink occasionally and do not eat or sleep enough to treat my body as a temple. When the situation arises, I enjoy having premarital sex, although I am heterosexual. In addition to technical literature, my library includes books by Stephen Jay Gould and Richard Dawkins, as well as a pornography collection that is the envy of my friends and enemies alike. I commit non-religious acts of charity, like giving change to homeless people and helping old ladies cross the street, undermining the Godly monopoly on altruism. Although an apostate, I was baptized into Catholicism, and in confessing my sins to you, I'm showing that I may have Catholic tendencies, possibly caused by lack of attention or some mental disorder.

    Since you and God seem to have some kind of understanding, would you be willing to intercede on my behalf should I die? I mean, could you ask God a bit of a favour and let me avoid the damnation? I have some cool ideas about how Heaven could be made a little bit more interesting which I'd be willing to implement if they let me in. If you're interested, I'm sure God would like to hear these ideas. Maybe I could even bring some gay friends to Heaven, because I bet the decor is pretty naff. Give it some thought.

    All the best,
    RC
  2. Standard memberDoctorScribbles
    BWA Soldier
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    15 Mar '05 05:062 edits
    Originally posted by royalchicken
    Hello. In one of your posts, you said that one should help one's friends avoid hell. I think I may have committed a few sins: I'm a rationalist, an atheist, a skeptic, generally a Bayesian and have some socially liberal views. I smok ...[text shortened]... e decor is pretty naff. Give it some thought.

    All the best,
    RC
    While mercy and forgiveness are in the air, I would like to share in the absolution, if royalchicken does not mind sharing, which he shouldn't if he has truly accepted that one should help one's friends avoid hell.

    I too have committed several sins. Rationality shames me as it does RC. I am proud to say that I am not an atheist, although skepticism often gets the best of me. Bayesian thoughts have tempted me frequently, leading me from the path of certainty offered by scripture. My social views are radically different than those offered by the Bible, although I believe that they reflect the essence of Christian philosophy with respect to coexisting among one's neighbors. I have smoked and drunk in moderation and my eating habits make a mockery of the food pyramid, and I occasionally have naughty thoughts in my sleep, as well as immediately prior to sleep while engaging in premarital intercourse and other sexual activities certainly not condoned in the Bible. The ratio of Christian literature to secular literature on my bookshelves is approximately 1 to 50, including the title Farewell to God. I commit selfish acts of charity and don't say "God Bless You" when I do. My one saving grace is that I was not baptized as a Catholic and have only been inside one Catholic church, the National Cathedral, purely in a tourist mindset.

    Should you find it in your heart to make room for one more heathen, I too would vow to do my best, under RC's guidance, to make Heaven a nice place.

    Dr. S

    P.S. I promise to not bring any gays.
  3. Arizona, USA
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    15 Mar '05 05:471 edit
    I am an unrepentant capitalist. I admit to having bought and sold stock in my past. I know that the New Testament preaches a pure form of communism, but I have, for the most part, held tight to my hard-earned material possessions.

    Would you intercede for me too? The thought that Rwingett might be eternally rewarded for his faithfulness to the New Testament economic ideals, while a worshiper of filthy lucre such as I am is to be rejected by St. Peter at the threshold of the Promised Land, is a bitter pill to swallow.

  4. Standard memberPhlabibit
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    15 Mar '05 06:01
    I am a nice guy, too nice sometimes you might think... but I also have drank and smoked. I've also been with the same woman since she was just a girl, and I was just a VERY young man. 15 or so years of what SOME might call sin, but a loving relationship if that matters at all.

    I've never had any doubts of either of us getting into Heaven, we're both kind and loving people. I don't see either of us needing to beg forgiveness, as we've done that already through how we change over time, or how we regret what we've done and changed our actions.

    Now we will bring a child into the world together, and I sure as heck am going to let my child decide what is right or wrong. Catholic, Jewish, Christian, OTHER?! That is up to my child to decide as I did (am doing).

    I am sure while my child is making up their mind, they wouldn't find much of the info spewed here as informative, as I don't either. I really don't thing that matters at all. Save some space in Heaven or where ever the afterlife might bring us, since I sure as heck will be there... and I'm going to bring a boat load of (what some would call) sinners in with me.

    P
  5. Standard memberroyalchicken
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    15 Mar '05 06:442 edits
    I appreciate everyone's help; you guys are just fabulous. I think if we put our heads together we could have a faaantastic time making Heaven swish and camp and in addition some well-oiled lanes would be precious and help get the balls rolling in Paradise.

    😛

    Where's Darfles gone? This is his thread and he's being most cranky by not coming to join us, isn't he?
  6. Graceland.
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    15 Mar '05 10:16
    For with God, nothing shall be impossible.
    ---Luke 1:37
  7. Joined
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    15 Mar '05 10:52
    Originally posted by pcaspian
    For with God, nothing shall be impossible.
    ---Luke 1:37
    If nothing is impossible, isn't it possible that god doesn't exist?

    And if it is possible that god doesn't exist, then how can all things be possible with god.

    And if all things aren't possible....arrgghh... paradox approaching, mind.... melting.... under.... strain.....
  8. Standard memberAlcra
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    15 Mar '05 11:29
    Originally posted by royalchicken
    Hello. In one of your posts, you said that one should help one's friends avoid hell. I think I may have committed a few sins: I'm a rationalist, an atheist, a skeptic, generally a Bayesian and have some socially liberal views. I smoke, drink occasionally and do not eat or sleep enough to treat my body as a temple. When the situation arises, I enjoy ha ...[text shortened]... ds to Heaven, because I bet the decor is pretty naff. Give it some thought.

    All the best,
    RC
    LOL

    I particularly enjoyed the "apology" ( although I am heterosexual)!

  9. Standard memberHand of Hecate
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    15 Mar '05 15:04
    Originally posted by royalchicken
    Hello. In one of your posts, you said that one should help one's friends avoid hell. I think I may have committed a few sins: I'm a rationalist, an atheist, a skeptic, generally a Bayesian and have some socially liberal views. I smoke, drink occasionally and do not eat or sleep enough to treat my body as a temple. When the situation arises, I enjoy ha ...[text shortened]... ds to Heaven, because I bet the decor is pretty naff. Give it some thought.

    All the best,
    RC
    I am most certainly going to hell. However, I am confident that most of my friends will be there and I'll have plenty of company.

    While I am a reasonably decent person, still, I have, upon occasion defiled myself and others in a spectacular fashion. I have been known to drink alcohol to excess and otherwise pollute the temple that is my body (I tend to fall down, laugh alot and expose myself when intoxicated as well).

    I struggle with my spirtuality and currently consider myself to be Protestant with strong Existential and Taoist tendencies. My political allegiance is fuzzy at best as I have the unreasonable expection that politicians should do what is right for the people they represent... few do. Lets say I'm left and right of center at the same time.

    I strive to be good at everything I do, but, recognize that I am crap at most of it. I read voraciously everything from physics books and philosphy to beer labels and XXX hardcore porn. I am a Chemical Engineer by training, a unrepentant bastard by intention, compassionate by nature and Canadian by birth. My hobbies include asking questions, playing chess, reading, cooking, music, drinking, hunting, fishing, shooting and various other outdoor activities. I like this website and most of the people on it.

    I've been plagued with depression most of my life, but, fight to live life with passion, originality and weirdness. Life would be a darker place without my wife, my family, my yellow lab and the cat (that doesn't like me).

    I ask forgiveness from none.
  10. Standard membertelerion
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    15 Mar '05 16:20
    Originally posted by royalchicken
    Hello. In one of your posts, you said that one should help one's friends avoid hell. I think I may have committed a few sins: I'm a rationalist, an atheist, a skeptic, generally a Bayesian and have some socially liberal views. I smoke, drink occasionally and do not eat or sleep enough to treat my body as a temple. When the situation arises, I enjoy ha ...[text shortened]... ds to Heaven, because I bet the decor is pretty naff. Give it some thought.

    All the best,
    RC
    You are a Bayesian! So you make the world conform to your PRECONCEIVED notions! The heresy! Get 'em boys!
  11. Standard memberroyalchicken
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    15 Mar '05 16:28
    Originally posted by telerion
    You are a Bayesian! So you make the world conform to your PRECONCEIVED notions! The heresy! Get 'em boys!
    Exactly! And I wanted to include every point of view with an 'ist' or an 'ian' I've ever subscribed to.
  12. Standard memberroyalchicken
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    15 Mar '05 16:39
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    I am most certainly going to hell. However, I am confident that most of my friends will be there and I'll have plenty of company.

    While I am a reasonably decent person, still, I have, upon occasion defiled myself and others in a spectacular fashion. I have been known to drink alcohol to excess and otherwise pollute the temple that is my body (I ...[text shortened]... my family, my yellow lab and the cat (that doesn't like me).

    I ask forgiveness from none.
    H of H, where'd you get such an excellent avatar?
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    15 Mar '05 16:46
    It's obvious by his silence that Darfius is not interested pulling any heavenly strings for all you groveling reprobates. I, however, will be more than happy to get the lot of you into Heaven when it's my turn to go. Unlike Darfius, I know what it's like to be a sinner and sympathize with all your concerns.

    You're welcome.
  14. Standard memberroyalchicken
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    15 Mar '05 16:51
    Originally posted by darvlay
    It's obvious by his silence that Darfius is not interested pulling any heavenly strings for all you groveling reprobates. I, however, will be more than happy to get the lot of you into Heaven when it's my turn to go. Unlike Darfius, I know what it's like to be a sinner and sympathize with all your concerns.

    You're welcome.
    What about the gays? We could have a 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' with Jesus as the subject.
  15. Joined
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    15 Mar '05 16:54
    Originally posted by royalchicken
    What about the gays? We could have a 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' with Jesus as the subject.
    Are you kidding me? No fags allowed period. That would be like Dodger11 bringing a black woman home for Christmas dinner. There goes the neighbourhood!
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