1. Account suspended
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    17 Mar '06 05:35
    i don't have any kids that have been born so i guess this may be a more suitable topic for those with children. this should be black or white for any parents here... should you smack your own kids or not?
  2. Subscribersonhouse
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    17 Mar '06 05:41
    Originally posted by Kaboooomba
    i don't have any kids that have been born so i guess this may be a more suitable topic for those with children. this should be black or white for any parents here... should you smack your own kids or not?
    So you have lots of kids that HAVEN'T been born? Boy are you in for a suprise then🙂
    A lot of native tribes do not hit their kids, but disipline then by setting good examples. I guess the more 'civilized' we become the more cruel we become at the same time. Also the more religious we become, the more cruel we are to our kids. I am speaking specifically of christianity and Islam. My guess is muslims treat their kids better than christians treat theirs. I don't know that for a fact, I hate both groups. I won't step on that particular soap box here though.
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    17 Mar '06 07:36
    Originally posted by Kaboooomba
    i don't have any kids that have been born so i guess this may be a more suitable topic for those with children. this should be black or white for any parents here... should you smack your own kids or not?
    I do think kids need discipline but smacking or other forms of violence is not the only way nor the best IMHO. However it is hard to resist sometimes and is the easiest if you are feelling too lazy or tired for any thing else. Most Children aim to please but also want lots of attention, if you dont give them the attention they want then they do whatever it takes to get your attention even if that attention is a smack. They also want to know why they must do things and will often not listen to direct orders unless a reason is given even if that reason is "do it or you get a smack".

    So why is this in the spirituality forum?
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    17 Mar '06 11:511 edit
    Originally posted by sonhouse
    So you have lots of kids that HAVEN'T been born? Boy are you in for a suprise then🙂
    A lot of native tribes do not hit their kids, but disipline then by setting good examples. I guess the more 'civilized' we become the more cruel we become at the same time. Also the more religious we become, the more cruel we are to our kids. I am speaking specifically of that for a fact, I hate both groups. I won't step on that particular soap box here though.
    two past girlfriends had a miscarriage each.
  5. Standard memberDerfel Cadarn
    The Mighty
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    17 Mar '06 11:53
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    I do think kids need discipline but smacking or other forms of violence is not the only way nor the best IMHO. However it is hard to resist sometimes and is the easiest if you are feelling too lazy or tired for any thing else. Most Children aim to please but also want lots of attention, if you dont give them the attention they want then they do whatever i ...[text shortened]... ven if that reason is "do it or you get a smack".

    So why is this in the spirituality forum?
    I do think it is wrong to "smack" children, but there's nothing wrong with a good old fashioned passiobate ass whipping, with a switch or belt, and only on the ass.
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    17 Mar '06 11:58
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    I do think kids need discipline but smacking or other forms of violence is not the only way nor the best IMHO. However it is hard to resist sometimes and is the easiest if you are feelling too lazy or tired for any thing else. Most Children aim to please but also want lots of attention, if you dont give them the attention they want then they do whatever i ...[text shortened]... ven if that reason is "do it or you get a smack".

    So why is this in the spirituality forum?
    it's a topic relavent to Christianity. i put it here for DF, as i think DF and other Christians may have something to offer.

    i do agree with smacking children, but only if you are an able parent.
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    17 Mar '06 20:56
    Originally posted by Kaboooomba
    i don't have any kids that have been born so i guess this may be a more suitable topic for those with children. this should be black or white for any parents here... should you smack your own kids or not?
    I would say yes, but willy nilly.
    Physical punishment should punctuate an important event. If a child runs out into the street, you explain it to him and tell him not to do it again. If he does it a 2nd time, you spank him to let him know that this is something very important.
    If you spank a child for every little thing, how's the child suppose to seperate the important lessons from the non-important.
    I think spanking is to be used like an exclaimation point in writing. A little goes a long way.
    Some children don't need it. Those parents are blessed. But I think most kids do and I see no problem with doing it.

    DF
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    18 Mar '06 05:461 edit
    Originally posted by DragonFriend
    I would say yes, but willy nilly.
    Physical punishment should punctuate an important event. If a child runs out into the street, you explain it to him and tell him not to do it again. If he does it a 2nd time, you spank him to let him know that this is something very important.
    If you spank a child for every little thing, how's the child suppose to sep Those parents are blessed. But I think most kids do and I see no problem with doing it.

    DF
    i would smack children of my own for the purpose of stopping them travelling down a road that would give them far more pain than if i didn't. i would tell them why and explain it to them. if they had grown older and travelled down a wrong road then i wouldn't smack them... all i could do is tell them how i feel and be there for them. i'm guessing it's easier to talk about this than actually live it.

    i think you'll agree DF that smacking is about giving them less pain... not more.

    EDIT : sometimes kids are more inteligent than me.
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    18 Mar '06 14:18
    Originally posted by Kaboooomba
    i don't have any kids that have been born so i guess this may be a more suitable topic for those with children. this should be black or white for any parents here... should you smack your own kids or not?
    Its depends on the situation, the parents, and the kids, Spankings did me alot of good, However some of my brothers and sisters, sitting them in the corner was enough disapline, One should never spank their kids when they (the parent) are angry.

    PS, I know some familys that dont believe in spankings, and their kids are brats
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    18 Mar '06 14:33
    Originally posted by sonhouse
    So you have lots of kids that HAVEN'T been born? Boy are you in for a suprise then🙂
    A lot of native tribes do not hit their kids, but disipline then by setting good examples. I guess the more 'civilized' we become the more cruel we become at the same time. Also the more religious we become, the more cruel we are to our kids. I am speaking specifically of ...[text shortened]... that for a fact, I hate both groups. I won't step on that particular soap box here though.
    I doubt you have a clue that Christians and Muslims treat their kids cruelly, Religion teaches to have respect for the authoritys, and it is a proven fact that church-going teenagers commit less crime then nonchurch-going teeangers do. I been to hundreds of different churches in the last several years, and I never see cruelity.
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    18 Mar '06 14:44
    Originally posted by flyUnity
    Its depends on the situation, the parents, and the kids, Spankings did me alot of good, However some of my brothers and sisters, sitting them in the corner was enough disapline, One should never spank their kids when they (the parent) are angry.

    PS, I know some familys that dont believe in spankings, and their kids are brats
    was going to say something about smacking when 'angry'... my dad was a heavily addicted gambler on the horses. my older bro and i got some heavy physical disciplining prob. due to this. i nearly punched him over one time when it happened to my little bro.
  12. Standard membertelerion
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    18 Mar '06 15:00
    Originally posted by flyUnity
    Its depends on the situation, the parents, and the kids, Spankings did me alot of good, However some of my brothers and sisters, sitting them in the corner was enough disapline, One should never spank their kids when they (the parent) are angry.

    PS, I know some familys that dont believe in spankings, and their kids are brats
    I don't spank my kid. She's not a brat. QED.

    I've lived with other families growing up (about 5 or 6). Of those that had children, some spanked and some did not. I did not observe that those who did not spank had less well-behaved kids than those that did. In fact, in my sample (small sample size for sure), the worst behaved kids happened to come from a spanking home.

    My feeling is that bad spanking practices strongly lead to messed up kids, while "good" spanking has no significant effect over other age-appropriate, "non-violent" punishments (grounding, removal of privileges, a very stern reprimand). As for the children that you know who are brats and are not spanked, my guess is that there are two things going on.

    1) You have a strong bias toward spanking. "Spare the rod; spoil the child" so to speak. This causes you to notice the inappropriate behavior of non-spanked kids more (in a sense, because you are anticipating it).
    2) The parents of these children spoil them generally and/or do not enforce other methods of punishment.

    I also think environment is a major component. I saw a lot of delinquency in the poor town that I originally grew up in. I'm sure that many of these kids were spanked at home. When I left home, and attended a xian school (mixed income), there were no significant differences between the spanked kids and the non-spanked (those that I knew). Finally, when I left that school to attend an upper class private prep school, I found that a much larger fraction of the kids behaved well, and yet in my talks with them, the vast majority claimed to have never been spanked.

    OOOh, wife is returning. Must get back to moving!
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    18 Mar '06 15:21
    Originally posted by telerion
    I don't spank my kid. She's not a brat. QED.

    I've lived with other families growing up (about 5 or 6). Of those that had children, some spanked and some did not. I did not observe that those who did not spank had less well-behaved kids than those that did. In fact, in my sample (small sample size for sure), the worst behaved kids happened to come fr ...[text shortened]... med to have never been spanked.

    OOOh, wife is returning. Must get back to moving!
    I think alot of it is the culture part we live in, Where I grew up spankings was an accepted as a form of punishment, my dad would tell us stories of his spankings in school, and my uncle would tell us how he put on 7 pairs of underwear when he was expecting one. My cousin and us would often talk about what we did to get spankings and so forth, But nowdays a child probay thinks when he gets spanked that it is child abuse. Thats probaly what your talking about in your area, I can see that if spanking isnt "accepted" in your area, and a parent spanks a child. the child will likely see it as child abuse instead of training cause his friends dont get spanked etc. this may also raise hard feelings againts the parent, which might lead to rebelion.


    I think spankings are good though for like kids under 5, (grounding them isnt going to do much) My 8 younger brothers and sisters by the time they was 2 years old, hardly ever (if ever) cried or made a fuss in a public place, and didnt need many spankings later in life, Im a firm believer in early training, whereas most parents think that 2 years old is to young, so the kid is a brat at 2, then the parents has a diffucult time throughout the kids life
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    19 Mar '06 04:49
    Originally posted by Kaboooomba
    i'm guessing it's easier to talk about this than actually live it.

    i think you'll agree DF that smacking is about giving them less pain... not more.
    Thus the age old parenting phrase, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."

    And yes, I agree it's all about less pain in the long run.

    DF
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