1. Joined
    23 Jul '05
    Moves
    8869
    27 Oct '05 18:28
    The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed. Some other symptoms are


    (a) Loss of direction
    (b) Foul vocal emissions
    (c) Amnesia of origin
    (d) Lack of peace and joy
    (e) Selfish, or violent behavior
    (f) Depression or confusion in the mental component
    (g) Fearfulness
    (h) Idolatry
    (i) Rebellion.
    The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.

    The RepairTechnician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is:


    P-R-A-Y-E-R.
    Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:


    (a) Love
    (b) Joy
    (c) Peace
    (d) Patience
    (e) Kindness
    (f) Goodness
    (g) Faithfulness
    (h) Gentleness
    (i) Self Control
    Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade the manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Spirit. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises!

    WARNING:

    Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction, voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

    DANGER:

    The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice.
  2. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    27 Oct '05 18:451 edit
    Originally posted by sasquatch672
    [b]🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄[/b]
    I hope this isn't like the repeated recall notices on my Chevy... I mean, I appreciate them, but they are a Serious Irritant Nonetheless! 😉

    And isn't this typical: a component wasn't engineered right to begin with, but let's blame the guys on the assembly line... 😛

    EDIT: Not to say that I found BW's post irritating--au contairiwise!
  3. Joined
    07 Jan '05
    Moves
    20117
    28 Oct '05 14:11
    Originally posted by Bad wolf
    The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been techni ...[text shortened]... our attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice.
    I like this very much... got a rec from me 😉
  4. Standard memberWulebgr
    Angler
    River City
    Joined
    08 Dec '04
    Moves
    16907
    28 Oct '05 15:19
    Originally posted by Nicolaas
    I like this very much... got a rec from me 😉
    me too

    Good job of putting the wolf's mythology in a new sheepskin
  5. England
    Joined
    15 Nov '03
    Moves
    33497
    28 Oct '05 15:33
    bad wolf the resulting defect is shown completly in your text. as is the final resulting revalations being to separate lambs from goats, or sheep from wolves
  6. Cosmos
    Joined
    21 Jan '04
    Moves
    11184
    29 Oct '05 05:081 edit
    Bringing in terminology from the modern era, huh?

    If only you would bring your philosophy up to date too, and ditch your prehistoric and redundant ideology.
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