1. Standard membermokko
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    31 May '05 05:43
    I have read alot of threads in this forum but have chose to not to get involved in any of the discussions. Tonight however as I sit here with my broken heart I feel like sharing a bit of my thoughts.

    I have known a great many hardships in my life, mainly self inflicted.
    To debate wether there is isn't a God is irrelevent to me. Wether there is or isn't a heaven or hell is not my place to speculate.

    All I know of God is that when I sit here all alone at night with my three beautiful children and a recently destroyed relationship I hurt. When it begins to hurt so bad that I feel I can no longer bear it anymore I suddenly become sourrounded by comforted.

    Just when I feel all hope is lost, out of the blue miricles happen. There are things I could never explain, feelings I could never put into words.

    I believe in the love of Christ, or whatever anyone chooses to call him. I believe because I feel his presence, not because I grew up within a church, or because I was told I'd go to hell if I didn't, or because I desperately need something to give me purpose. I believe because I feel it in my life everyday, it guides me in everything I do, and even when I don't want to listen I know it will always be there for when I do.

    So even though I don't go to church, or recite passages from memory out of the bible the spirit of God lives within me. It's a fundamental part of makes me who I am.

    Without this comfort in my life right now I wouldn't know how to carry on. All would be bleak and hopeless. With God all things are possible.(Even the healing of a desperately broken heart)

    It's late, I'm alone and I apologize if this seems like the babblings of a sad, pathetic women. It's just my opinion that God lives within us all wether we are aware of his presence or not.

    And now I lay me down to sleep.😴
  2. Joined
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    31 May '05 07:071 edit
    Originally posted by mokko
    I have read alot of threads in this forum but have chose to not to get involved in any of the discussions. Tonight however as I sit here with my broken heart I feel like sharing a bit of my thoughts.

    I have known a great many hardships in ...[text shortened]... ware of his presence or not.

    And now I lay me down to sleep.😴
    I think that was a courageous post of yours.

    I'd say that the "spiritual process" (however we might think of that -- even just maturing in life) is furthered by the "hopeless heart", so to speak. I've been through many relationships and also searched through several spiritual traditions, so I can vouch for the reality of this "transcendent" or "comforting" feeling you speak of when referring to reaching a certain saturation point of emotional pain.

    You could say that the condition of "hopelessness" is a necessary prerequisite for the deepening of the heart and the growing of the soul. By hopelesness here I don't meant the utter despair of self-loathing or pure defeatism or cynicism. More I'm referring to the deepening effect that happens when we begin to let go of some of the fairy tales that society conditions us to believe in -- the "knight in white armor", the "perfect maiden", and endless other pots of gold at the end of so-called rainbows. By living in constant "hope" about some possible future we've been conditioned to hope for, or consant lamentation about what has passed under the bridge, we miss the wondrousness of this present moment.

    Nature is a great teacher in that regard, quietly bringing us back to the simple sanity and goodness of this moment, when our mind is quiet and at rest. That "presence" that you sense, the comforting spirit, can also be seen as the goodness of your own heart when it's allowed to surface in one moment of mental exhaustion brought on by great emotional pain. In the very letting go, there is peace, even if but for a split second.

    And I think that's the key, right there. Letting go of attachments is key to a peaceful state of mind, or at the least, one that adapts to changes and doesn't just survive the experience, but grows wiser from it as well.

    But clearly we can't "force" ourselves to let go of attachments. That doesn't work. We can however redirect the focus of our mind, away from the confusing, grasping, repetitive thoughts that cause pain, and into the present moment where the full energy of life truly is. 🙂
  3. Standard membermokko
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    31 May '05 14:44
    Originally posted by Metamorphosis
    I think that was a courageous post of yours.

    I'd say that the "spiritual process" (however we might think of that -- even just maturing in life) is furthered by the "hopeless heart", so to speak. I've been through many relationships and also searched through several spiritual traditions, so I can vouch for the reality of this "transcendent" ...[text shortened]... oughts that cause pain, and into the present moment where the full energy of life truly is. 🙂
    I believe we are all on a personal journey in life and it's through this journey we become the person we are meant to be.

    It's my belief that "God" has a path and purpose for us all, so even when events occur that conflict with my own desires I choose to maintain faith in the fact it's for the best. There is a plan greater than my own personal agenda.

    This knowledge by no means takes the pain away or makes life any easier it simply becomes hope for the future. As long as you can see past the pain you will be able to endure it.

    I believe in a loving God who cares greatly for us all. Who is forgiving and kind and above all else loyal and faithful to us even when our own faith may sometimes falter.

    Ask and ye shall recieve
    Knock and the door shall be opened.

    I may not know the exact biblical verse where these words can be found but I know exactly where they are in my heart.