10. They omit no fewer than half of the consonants in the Roman alphabet when speaking.
9. They have signs that say "Clam Chowdah In A Bread Bowl 29 dollahs"
8. You're not allowed to start calling yourself "Titletown". It's the kind of karma-inducing event that sends a 330-pound man into your quahtuhback's knee fifteen plays into the season.
7. Because of my seventh grade teacher and his impromptu spelling lesson one day, I still think "Connect-I-Cut".
6. The Hahtfahd Whaluhs played their games in a shahpping mall.
5. Maineiacs. Everything about them.
4. You sent America a horse-faced, windsurfing, French-speaking, pate-eating Socialist half-tart with a wife that talks even funnier than him.
3. Yale and Hahvahd: two places where overprivileged, underworked, no-talent ass-clowns go to make sure they can parade their trust funds in front of ordinary joes for the rest of their lives.
2. Your year: Spring begins sometime around the fourth of July. About a week goes by and you have summah fer abaht fifteen minutes. Then around July 15, you have fall for about a week and then it snows for eleven months.
1. The Yankees show up at Fenway and you think you're supposed to play baseball. What you should be doing is living up to your Boston roots. Grab a couple of bats and never let them out of their dugout.