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  1. Standard member flexmore
    Quack Quack Quack !
    06 May '05 23:29 / 7 edits

    The ZeroTimebank and the ZeroTimeout.


    Once there was a ZeroTimebank who used to laugh scornfully at a ZeroTimeout because he plodded along so slowly. "You never can get anywhere with so few skulls. Look at my beautiful skulls ! They're so swift no one would dare race me."

    All the animals of field and forest were tired of hearing the ZeroTimebank brag. At last the ZeroTimeout said, "If we were to run a race, I'm sure I would beat you."

    The animals were astonished for they knew the ZeroTimeout was the slowest of them all, ocasionally taking a week, or even two weeks, to think of a perfect move in a tricky position, and the ZeroTimebank, bursting into loud laughter, cried, "What a joke! That slowpoke thinks he can beat me! Come on, Mr. ZeroTimeout, you shall see what my pawns are made of. Why I can beat you before you are even half-started!"

    "You'd better not be too sure," cautioned the ZeroTimeout.

    All the big and little animals gathered to watch the race. At the beginning of Easter the Great Tournament Race began. The ZeroTimebank leaped forward in a great bound, claiming two dozen skulls before the Easter vacationers had returned to their work computers to play for 40 hours per week - that will teach them to go camping with the kids! Soon ZeroTimebank left the plodding ZeroTimeout far behind him on the dusty road. Looking at his games, the ZeroTimebank could count his games in progress on one hand.

    "Hum-m, I've as good as won this race already," the ZeroTimebank thought, "There's really no reason to hurry." So, as the sun was very warm, he decided to rest a bit under a shady tree - and dream of two players taking three days for every simple move. "I'll come in away ahead of that ZeroTimeout easily," he told himself.

    Soon he was sound asleep. The restful middlegame streched into a drawn endgame with neither player able to win, nor admit the draw.

    Meantime, the ZeroTimeout jogged steadily along on the hot, dusty road, ever so slowly, but surely, and soon he passed the ZeroTimebank who was still peacefully sleeping, now dreaming of the 50 move rule.

    Quietly the ZeroTimeout plodded on nearing the goal. When the ZeroTimebank finally finished its first round with a longweekend skull claim, he saw the ZeroTimeout just reaching the finish line of the third round far ahead and he could hear all the animals cheering the winner.

    Boastful and careless, the ZeroTimebank had lost the race. Now he would never again be able to count on his speed.