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s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
17 Dec 15

Originally posted by wolfgang59
What do you call a husband who cant make sandwiches?


DIVORCED
You know what you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?




Homeless

chemist

Linkenheim

Joined
22 Apr 05
Moves
656431
18 Dec 15

you know what a philosopher without a Job says to one in work?

One Big Mac, please.

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115231
23 Dec 15

The Donald

p
Please Pay Attention

Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97251
23 Dec 15

"Honesty is a virgin."
"VirTUE!"
"Bless you!"

Quiz Master

RHP Arms

Joined
09 Jun 07
Moves
48793
23 Dec 15

Originally posted by pawnpaw
"Honesty is a virgin."
"VirTUE!"
"Bless you!"
Knock knock
Who's there?
Atish
Atish who?
Bless you!

p

Joined
27 Dec 05
Moves
143878
24 Dec 15

Originally posted by wolfgang59
Knock knock
Who's there?
Atish
Atish who?
Bless you!
I was sat watching the telly when there was a knock on the door .." go answer that son " ....son went to the door ..... " who is it son " I said , son replied " it's a bloke with a baldy head dad " ... " tell him to go away I've already got one " I replied

Boston Lad

USA

Joined
14 Jul 07
Moves
43012
28 Dec 15

Originally posted by coquette
what do you call an 8 year old grandmaster?

Don't even pretend that you don't know what you'd call her.
lol

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115231
28 Dec 15

man in southern california finds a brass lamp on the beach. he brushes off the seaweed and out pops a genie. the genie thanks him and says that he gets one wish. the man protests, suggesting that he should get three wishes. the genie says that he's a one-wish genie and that the wish should be just right on the first go.

the man thinks for a moment and wishes for a highway to Hawaii.

the genie has absolutely no problem building a highway bridge 2500 or so miles long across the pacific ocean that's 10s of thousands of feet deep salt water and buffeted by storms and requiring fueling stops and motels and restaurants and then, to make the highway would it have to be four lanes or would two lanes do? the genie points out the challenges of driving to hawaii over the ocean to the man, suggesting that another wish might make a little more sense. in fact, one might suspect that the genie did feel just a little challenged, right?

well, the man took the genie's sincerely offered advice and changed his wish. he asked the genie to explain how women think.

the genie frowned and asked the man to please offer a little context.

the man said, "well, my wife comes home and tells me that she saved $200 at kohls. i say that's great and ask how she did that and she tells me that they had a 50% sale. then the next time i go to kohls with her and she holds up this dress and says does this make me look fat? then. . .

the genie interrupts the man and asks, two lanes or four?

Delicious Monster...

Joined
17 Sep 10
Moves
72509
28 Dec 15

News Flash: Men are NOT from Mars.
When Curiosity did an inspection of the Mars surface, he didn't record any findings of beer cans, Big Mac boxes, etc...

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115231
28 Dec 15

Originally posted by Mammy Blue
News Flash: Men are NOT from Mars.
When Curiosity did an inspection of the Mars surface, he didn't record any findings of beer cans, Big Mac boxes, etc...
A further lack of evidence of male life on mars was the absence of atmospheric methane gas and TV remote controls.

Boston Lad

USA

Joined
14 Jul 07
Moves
43012
28 Dec 15

Originally posted by coquette
A further lack of evidence of male life on mars was the absence of atmospheric methane gas and TV remote controls.
"...was the absence of atmospheric methane gas and TV remote controls."

Q. Are you a stand up comedian at a local club on weekends? lol

A.

Already mated

Omaha, Nebraska, USA

Joined
04 Jul 06
Moves
1115231
28 Dec 15

i tried to come up with a rational explanation for the essence of beauty, spiritual grandeur and love and i came to the realization that i was just rationalizing.

s
Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined
28 Dec 04
Moves
53223
28 Dec 15

Originally posted by coquette
A further lack of evidence of male life on mars was the absence of atmospheric methane gas and TV remote controls.
Women can still come from Venus though, it's really hot.....

b

Joined
11 Jul 06
Moves
20258
28 Dec 15

Originally posted by sonhouse
Women can still come from Venus though, it's really hot.....
. . . and steamy

p
Please Pay Attention

Lethabong

Joined
02 Apr 10
Moves
97251
29 Dec 15

Originally posted by billyray
. . . and steamy
We men are just... down to earth...