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Can men and women be

Can men and women be "just" friends?

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vivify
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There's a line from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where one of the characters says that men and women can never be *just* friends; the "sex thing" always gets in the way.

Is there any truth to this?

How many people here hang out with a member of the opposite sex (not counting family) just like they would with a friend of the same gender?

I don't often see women going to a man's house alone just to hang out in a purely platonic fashion, or vice-versa, on a regular basis.

Let's say a man and woman, both hetero and reasonably attractive, are friends and hang alone on a regular basis. If they enjoy each other's company, I think it's inevitable that natural instincts would kick in and attraction would result.

I don't think this has anything to do with how liberal or "woke" a person is, nature has wired us in ways we can't control. If two friends of the opposite sex (both hetero) are equally attractive, I think, as Billy Crystal's character said, the "sex thing would always get in the way" of them being "just friends".

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Suzianne
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@vivify said
There's a line from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where one of the characters says that men and women can never be *just* friends; the "sex thing" always gets in the way.

Is there any truth to this?

How many people here hang out with a member of the opposite sex (not counting family) just like they would with a friend of the same gender?

I don't often see wom ...[text shortened]... aracter said, the "sex thing would always get in the way" of them being "just friends".

Thoughts?
Who says sex has to "get in the way"?

Relationships (and their subsequent demands for exclusiveness) are what "gets in the way" of being just friends.

But maybe I should be excluded from your example.

vivify
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@suzianne said
Who says sex has to "get in the way"?

Relationships (and their subsequent demands for exclusiveness) are what "gets in the way" of being just friends.

But maybe I should be excluded from your example.
It seems you're saying the real issue is society's insistence that sex be something that only occurs in committed relationships. Correct?

EDIT: Reading your post again, it seems that you take issue the whole idea of being bound to just one person, and see that as the main problem....right?

AThousandYoung
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Can bisexual people have any friends?

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@vivify said
There's a line from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where one of the characters says that men and women can never be *just* friends; the "sex thing" always gets in the way.

Is there any truth to this?

How many people here hang out with a member of the opposite sex (not counting family) just like they would with a friend of the same gender?

I don't often see wom ...[text shortened]... aracter said, the "sex thing would always get in the way" of them being "just friends".

Thoughts?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Harry_Met_Sally...

"When Harry Met Sally... is a 1989 American romantic comedy film ...". Maybe that movie is no longer a cultural mirror to our society.


The short answer to your question is yes. The long answer is "yes, if, like any other friendship, the people involved are not immature asholes"

vivify
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@zahlanzi said
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Harry_Met_Sally...

"When Harry Met Sally... is a 1989 American romantic comedy film ...". Maybe that movie is no longer a cultural mirror to our society.


The short answer to your question is yes. The long answer is "yes, if, like any other friendship, the people involved are not immature asholes"
Just to be clear: the question is not "can men be friends with women without expecting sex?", nor is it "can men be friends with women without seeing them as a piece of meat". Maybe I shouldn't have used a movie that came out when my age was in single digits, but that's what gave me the idea.

Forget the word "sex" for a moment. In general, is it realistic that a man and woman can be just friends without attraction or feelings being a factor at some point?

How often do you go to a woman's house (or vice-versa) alone just to kick it, watch a movie, or do whatever, just like you would with your boys?

If a man and woman (of similar age, status and attractiveness) enjoy each other's company, isn't natural that romantic feelings would arise eventually? Again, I'm speaking generally.

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@vivify said
There's a line from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where one of the characters says that men and women can never be *just* friends; the "sex thing" always gets in the way.

Is there any truth to this?

How many people here hang out with a member of the opposite sex (not counting family) just like they would with a friend of the same gender?

I don't often see wom ...[text shortened]... aracter said, the "sex thing would always get in the way" of them being "just friends".

Thoughts?
When Harry Met Sally is an excellent movie but it is fiction. There is absolutely no reason why men and women cant be just friends.

vivify
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@quackquack said
When Harry Met Sally is an excellent movie but it is fiction. There is absolutely no reason why men and women cant be just friends.
Agreed.

From now on, I'll make sure never to start a thread after watching a movie.

Rajk999
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@vivify said
There's a line from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where one of the characters says that men and women can never be *just* friends; the "sex thing" always gets in the way.

Is there any truth to this?

How many people here hang out with a member of the opposite sex (not counting family) just like they would with a friend of the same gender?

I don't often see wom ...[text shortened]... aracter said, the "sex thing would always get in the way" of them being "just friends".

Thoughts?
I think it is only in certain countries peoples lives are so influenced by movies, celebrities, the rich and famous, the good-looking etc etc. Most other places people can be whatever they choose to be to each other.

vivify
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@rajk999 said
I think it is only in certain countries peoples lives are so influenced by movies, celebrities, the rich and famous, the good-looking etc etc. Most other places people can be whatever they choose to be to each other.
I agree with this as well.

shavixmir
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@vivify said
There's a line from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where one of the characters says that men and women can never be *just* friends; the "sex thing" always gets in the way.

Is there any truth to this?

How many people here hang out with a member of the opposite sex (not counting family) just like they would with a friend of the same gender?

I don't often see wom ...[text shortened]... aracter said, the "sex thing would always get in the way" of them being "just friends".

Thoughts?
Some of my best friends are female.

I think a problem arises if one of the two is in love with the other. But that’s the same problem which would occur in same-sex friendship.

I even go on roadtrips, sleep in hotel rooms together, etc. with my female friends. No problems what-so-ever.

I don’t think the above is possible in every culture. Or even in every relationship. I’m sure if I had a jealous wife, she might not be relaxed with my friendships. However, since I’ve known most of my friends, female or not, for over 20 years, it’s hardly likely a glass of wine in the Alps is going to lead to anything romantic.

Suzianne
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@vivify said
It seems you're saying the real issue is society's insistence that sex be something that only occurs in committed relationships. Correct?

EDIT: Reading your post again, it seems that you take issue the whole idea of being bound to just one person, and see that as the main problem....right?
Yes, and yes.

This presupposes the absence of "love", or feelings like it. That comes later, usually, if at all.

Suzianne
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@athousandyoung said
Can bisexual people have any friends?
What is this supposed to mean?

Suzianne
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@vivify said
It seems you're saying the real issue is society's insistence that sex be something that only occurs in committed relationships. Correct?

EDIT: Reading your post again, it seems that you take issue the whole idea of being bound to just one person, and see that as the main problem....right?
Also, does sex have to mean the two people are no longer friends?

Maybe I'm not getting into the spirit of the question.

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@vivify
I love that movie, charming and relevant. The characters, Sally and Harry, are both attractive people, hoping to find a lover but the way they meet doesn't suggest that possibility. The difference between them is their view on sex and relationship - he would accept sex as it is, she wouldn't. When she does, she is already in love with him but he isn't quite there. When Harry met Sally is the moment he realizes he loves her too.

So, can men and women remain friends without it turning into something else? These days I'm sure young people can.

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