Bill Gates was informed that he had a degenerative brain disease.
He was invited to a top secret medical unit. The head honcho gets a silver key, and opens a cryogenic unit with a dead democrat.
The top boffin explained:
"we are working on a brain transplant.
For $1 billion US we can wipe the brain of the Democrat, load your brainwaves and swap"
"Great" says Bill.
"The trouble is, these Democrats aren't too smart, so not all of your I.Q. will fit in"
"Geeze, look I'm the richest guy on the planet because of my brains, isn't there anything else?"
The boffin gets out a gold key. This time its Albert Einstein. "This isn't cheap, $3 billion US and its a deal, you'll be able to do windows 2010 in 4d!"
Bill is ecstatic, but just before signing he notices there is a platinum key.
"Hold on! Whats that"
The boffin pulls Bill close and whispers "Its a republican, $10 billion and his brain is yours"
"You MUST be joking, why would i when Einstein is only $5 billion?"
"Well Einstein's brain is used".
The boffin gets a
Originally posted by petrosianpupilTake note shav, that was funny.
Bill Gates was informed that he had a degenerative brain disease.
He was invited to a top secret medical unit. The head honcho gets a silver key, and opens a cryogenic unit with a dead democrat.
The top boffin explained:
"we are working on a brain transplant.
For $1 billion US we can wipe the brain of the Democrat, load your brainwaves and swa ...[text shortened]... ly $5 billion?"
"Well Einstein's brain is used".
The boffin gets a
Originally posted by petrosianpupilBill Gates must need a new brain fast. He forgot the cost of Einstein's brain part way through the conversation.
Bill Gates was informed that he had a degenerative brain disease.
He was invited to a top secret medical unit. The head honcho gets a silver key, and opens a cryogenic unit with a dead democrat.
The top boffin explained:
"we are working on a brain transplant.
For $1 billion US we can wipe the brain of the Democrat, load your brainwaves and swa ly $5 billion?"
"Well Einstein's brain is used".
The boffin gets a
Subject: Iraq Incident
Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq .
The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,"
insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings , and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three a**holes report that I was the aggressor?
Originally posted by Dace AceROFLMFAO!
Subject: Iraq Incident
Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq .
The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." T ...[text shortened]... "and have you three a**holes report that I was the aggressor?