Attention! SVW has arrived with massive forces and your capital has been destroyed! All of the pathetic utopian fools who came here to establish their perfect society have been put away in communes away from innocent children, sheep and dogs. They will be encouraged to live out their meaningless lives, dreaming of perfection and halucinating about getting rich off of the efforts of "productive" humans. They will be provided all the dope they can use and free booze and food. They will have to maintain the toilets that we built for them, so we can expect them to be in it -- knee deep -- in about a week. But I digress...
Here is your new government that I have drafted. Love it or leave it.
I will now lay out the government and all reasons for why I have felt it necessary to step in on this pathetic attempt at "utopia". Don't bother with any pathetic attempt to ammend or change these documents. They are the law. I got a bigger gun than you do! neener, neener, neener!
I MIGHT allow comments, but mind your manners or I will send my enforcers. They will be on you like flies on stink!
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with stupidity (see Utopia) and to assume among the powers of the space, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the overthrow if silly utopians.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men (and some dogs) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator or some natural laws of nature with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of this poor little planet -- Gliese 581,aka,Utopia; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present gaggle of utopians and anarchists who "rule"... is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over pool lil Gliese 571. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
The silly anarchists have refused their Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
They have forbidden their cronies to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till their Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, they have utterly neglected to attend to them.
They have refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
They have called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository (Damn Bath Houses Anyway! And whose idea was it to have the legislature meet in a damn opium den!?) of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with their measures.
They have dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness their invasions on the rights of the people.
They have refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
They have endeavoured to prevent the population of poor lil Gliese 571 growing; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
They have obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing their Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
They have made Judges dependent on their Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
They have erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
They have kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
They have affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
They have combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving their Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond time and space to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of Utopian cum Anarchist Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into poor lil Gliese.
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
They have abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of their Protection and waging War against us.
They have plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
They have at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Heads of a civilized nation.
They have constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive in all of Space to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
They have excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Utopian brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united FREEDOM (previously Gliese 571) , in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world and GUT... for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of FREEDOM , solemnly publish and declare, That FREEDOM is, and of Right ought to be a Free and Independent Planet, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Utopian idiots, and that all political connection between them and the State of Utopia, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Planet, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence and a good GUT and TOE, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
All other documents to follow gain validity through THIS declaration!
We the People of planet FREEDOM, in Order to form a more perfect government, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the planet FREEDOM.
Originally posted by StarValleyWyJokes on you, you mixed up your star systems.
...object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over pool lil Gliese 571...
... to prevent the population of poor lil Gliese 571...
...united FREEDOM (previously Gliese 571)...
If you're going to go invade somewhere, get the address right dumbass.
Law Number I.
Item. 1.
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Fruit-Basket of the planet FREEDOM, which shall consist of a Fruit-basket of Flobbel and a Fruit-basket of Cumquats.
Item. 2.
The Fruit-basket of Cumquats shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several Districts, and the Electors in each District shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the District Legislature.
No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the FREEDOM, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that District in which he shall be chosen.
Cumquats and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several Districts which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of FREEDOM, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Cumquats shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each town of five thousand or more shall have at Least one Representative.
When vacancies happen in the Representation from any district, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.
The Fruit-basket of Cumquats shall choose their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
Item. 3.
The Flobbel of the FREEDOM shall be composed of two Flobbelers from each District, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six Years; and each Flobbeler shall have one Vote.
Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Flobbelers of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any District, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.
No Person shall be a Flobbeler who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the FREEDOM, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that District for which he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of the FREEDOM shall be President of the Flobbel, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.
The Flobbel shall choose their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the FREEDOM.
The Flobbel shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the FREEDOM is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.
Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the FREEDOM: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.
Item. 4.
The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Flobbelers and Cumquats, shall be prescribed in each District by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Flobbelers.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in BountyMonth, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.
Item. 5.
Each Fruit-basket shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each Fruit-basket may provide.
Each Fruit-basket may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.
Each Fruit-basket shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either Fruit-basket on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.
Neither Fruit-basket, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Fruit-baskets shall be sitting.
Item. 6.
The Flobbelers and Cumquats shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the FREEDOM. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Fruit-baskets, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either Fruit-basket, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.
No Flobbeler or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the FREEDOM, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the FREEDOM, shall be a Member of either Fruit-basket during his Continuance in Office.
Item. 7.
All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the Fruit-basket of Cumquats; but the Flobbel may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.
Every Bill which shall have passed the Fruit-basket of Cumquats and the Flobbel, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the FREEDOM: If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that Fruit-basket in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that Fruit-basket shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other Fruit-basket, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that Fruit-basket, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Fruit-baskets shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each Fruit-basket respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.
Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Flobbel and Fruit-basket of Cumquats may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the FREEDOM; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Flobbel and Fruit-basket of Cumquats, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.
Item. 8.
The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defense and general Welfare of the FREEDOM; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the FREEDOM;
To borrow Money on the credit of the FREEDOM;
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several Districts, and with the Indian Tribes;
To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the FREEDOM;
To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;
To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the FREEDOM;
To establish Post Offices and post Roads;
To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;
To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;
To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;
To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;
To provide and maintain a Navy;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;
To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the FREEDOM, reserving to the Districts respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;
To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular Districts, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the FR...
Originally posted by StarValleyWyYou got trinary star system by the looks of it, data follows...
Ooops. Well, no problem. Whatever planet this is will do just fine. Ahem.
571A DM-13 249 8389 12033-13 136 326 -36 31 B5K0 W 789 91 69 50 12 64E 40 48 46 5 620 C -45 -28 -25
571B L 795-25 12031-13 131 310 -40 0 5K6 JK 1039 138J 126J 50 12 89E 40 40 46 5 870 C
571C 12031-13 131 310 -40 0 1350* 50 12 120F 46 5 1180 F
I'm not kidding, that's the Gliese 2.0 Directory entry for Gliese 571 A, B, and C.
The directory and overly complicated instructions for use are found here...
http://www.projectrho.com/smap06.html
use microsoft excell to open the .dat file.
As a member of the constitutional comittee of Gliese 581 d, I feel it behoves me to offer diplomatic contact to your parallel political experiment.
Law Number II.
Item 1.
The executive Power shall be vested in a SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all of FREEDOM. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:
Each District shall appoint, in such Manner as the Fruit-bowl thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Fleeblers and Cumquats to which the District may be entitled in the Fruit-bowl: but no Fleebler or Cumquat, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the Voting Districts, shall be appointed an Elector.
The Electors shall meet in their respective Districts, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same District with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the Voting Districts, directed to the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all of the Senate. The SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Cumquats, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Cumquats shall immediately choose by Ballot one of them for SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner choose the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all. But in choosing the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, the Votes shall be taken by Districts, the Representation from each District having one Vote; A quorum for this purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the Districts, and a Majority of all the Districts shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall choose from them by Ballot the Vice SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all.
The Fruit-bowl may determine the Time of choosing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the Voting Districts.
No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the Voting Districts, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the Voting Districts.
In Case of the Removal of the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, and the Fruit-bowl may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all and Vice SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, declaring what Officer shall then act as SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all shall be elected.
The SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all shall, at Districtd Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the Voting Districts, or any of them.
Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all of the Voting Districts, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the Voting Districts."
Item. 2.
The SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the Voting Districts, and of the Militia of the several Districts, when called into the actual Service of the Voting Districts; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the Voting Districts, except in Cases of Impeachment.
He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Fleeblers present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the Voting Districts, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Fruit-bowl may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.
The SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.
Item. 3.
He shall from time to time give to the Fruit-bowl Information of the Condition of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Fruit-bowl into a “Giant Salad-Bowl” , or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the Voting Districts.
Item. 4.
The SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all, Vice SvwLike Supreme Know-it-all and all civil Officers of the Voting Districts, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors, assuming that the dumb-ass who tries it has bigger guns etc… neener neener.
Originally posted by agrysonUm. Ok.
You got trinary star system by the looks of it, data follows...
571A DM-13 249 8389 12033-13 136 326 -36 31 B5K0 W 789 91 69 50 12 64E 40 48 46 5 620 C -45 -28 -25
571B L 795-25 12031-13 131 310 -40 0 5K6 JK 1039 138J 126J 50 12 89E 40 40 46 5 870 C
571C 12031-13 131 310 -40 0 1350* 50 12 120F 46 5 1180 F
I'm not kidding, that's ...[text shortened]... 581 d, I feel it behoves me to offer diplomatic contact to your parallel political experiment.
svw posts memo to highly trained staff... "Who the heck is this guy and how does he know more about stars and stuff than our idot Navigator!? Can he be bribed or do we have to challenge him to a duel to the death? You did remember the baby-nukes-dressed-up-like-birthday-presents... DIDN'T YOU???"
{reply off screen left... "Boss! He's friendly! Don't shoot. He may prove to be useful er something later. Dig?" } keep it down.. he may hear you!}
Originally posted by StarValleyWyI'm half-Belgian, we make great turn-coats. 😏
Um. Ok.
svw posts memo to highly trained staff... "Who the heck is this guy and how does he know more about stars and stuff than our idot Navigator!? Can he be bribed or do we have to challenge him to a duel to the death? You did remember the baby-nukes-dressed-up-like-birthday-presents... DIDN'T YOU???"
{reply off screen left... "Boss! He's frie ...[text shortened]... t. He may prove to be useful er something later. Dig?" } keep it down.. he may hear you!}
Law Number III.
Item. 1.
The judicial Power of the planet FREEDOM shall be vested in one supreme Lawyer-Gaggle, and in such inferior Lawyer-Gaggles as the Fruit-bowl may from time to time ordain and establish. The Pudgy-Fudgy-Judgies, both of the supreme and inferior Lawyer-Gaggles, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.
Item. 2.
The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the planet FREEDOM, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;--to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;--to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;--to Controversies to which the planet FREEDOM shall be a Party;--to Controversies between two or more Districts;-- between a District and Citizens of another District;--between Citizens of different Districts;--between Citizens of the same District claiming Lands under Grants of different Districts, and between a District, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign Districts, Citizens or Subjects.
In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a District shall be Party, the supreme Lawyer-Gaggle shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Lawyer-Gaggle shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Fruit-bowl shall make.
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the District where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any District, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Fruit-bowl may by Law have directed.
Item. 3.
Treason against the planet FREEDOM, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Lawyer-Gaggle, or by reading it on RHP from that well known and widely loved spammer.. StarValleyWy… Ahem
The Fruit-bowl shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted… except if it happens to be anyone called like … oh, say -- “marauder” -- then it goes to his entire entourage for all eternity by damn!
Originally posted by StarValleyWyOMG, we're going to be worded to death!
Law Number III.
Item. 1.
The judicial Power of the planet FREEDOM shall be vested in one supreme Lawyer-Gaggle, and in such inferior Lawyer-Gaggles as the Fruit-bowl may from time to time ordain and establish. The Pudgy-Fudgy-Judgies, both of the supreme and inferior Lawyer-Gaggles, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated ...[text shortened]... d like … oh, say -- “marauder” -- then it goes to his entire entourage for all eternity by damn!
Law Number IV.
Item 1.
Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each District to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other District. And the Fruit-bowl may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
Item 2.
The Citizens of each District shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several Districts.
A Person charged in any District with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another District, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the District from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the District having Jurisdiction of the Crime.
No Person held to Service or Labor in one District, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labor, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labor may be due. But from now on… you dumbies, NO MORE SLAVES! That’s it. I’ve had it with you. GOT IT? Ahem.
Item 3.
New Districts may be admitted by the Fruit-bowl into this Union; but no new District shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other District; nor any District be formed by the Junction of two or more Districts, or Parts of Districts, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the Districts concerned as well as of the Fruit-bowl.
The Fruit-bowl shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the Planet FREEDOM; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United Planet FREEDOM, or of any particular District.
Item 4.
The Planet FREEDOM shall guarantee to every District in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened), against domestic Violence.