Originally posted by whodey
Apparently earthworms are contributing to global warming. Who knew? You?
1. Earthworm Reeducation Program. They are clearly thinking only of themselves and acting as individuals. A collectivist philosophy in the earthworm community could help solve this problem. I hope we allocate the proper tax revenue toward a research program whose goal will be to establish a human-earthworm communications protocol. To that end, I strongly urge President Obama to appoint an Earthworm Czar.
2. Regulate earthworm activity. Attach an amendment to the ACA that requires earthworms to only engage in greenhouse-gas producing activities for half their usual time. This will also contribute to overall earthworm health, as they can work less hard and stay home with the kids more.
3. Drone Strikes. The advantage here is that a single drone can kill lots of earthworms. The problem here is that there are lots and lots and lots - and lots - of earthworms.
4. Political protest. I hereby call for a protest against earthworms in Washington, DC and in every state capitol. February 29, 2013 shall be declared Eradicate Earthworms Day, or EEW Day.
This is clearly a huge problem and we Americans must follow our Dear Leader Barack Obama and save the planet.