If I were a woman...

... I'd be the biggest tart in town.
My sweetness would be savored,
because my pan would be flavored
with the sweetest cherry around.
But I'm a man not a pie.
And I'm stuck here, no lie.
With this mouthful of crumbs;
that prove me, all thumbs
at half-baking a Strudel.
Thus sad and too true
at my oven, I'm due
to release this hideous
quarterly-cooked noodle.