internet 'relationships'

i just finished watching the documentary 'catfish' and it got me thinking about my past relationships with people i had met on the internet, not only my own but everyones.

on a personal note i haven't talked with anyone i only know from the internet on a personal level in a long time and only with a handful of people when i have done, one of whom i ended up meeting in person and spending a lot of time with and getting to know her a lot. it was only ever friendship, never sexual but the person who i had shared so much with let me into her life and it was the same person throughout. we're still friends today. but what if she had turned out to be a bit psycho?

if you're not familiar with the documentary 'catfish', think about watching it. not wanting to give the story away it's about a male photographers relationship with a female artist who he met online and had started to send paintings of his photos to him.

the whole story got me thinking, i know throughout the internet there's people pretending to be something their not, it's happening as you read this, it's probably going on a lot on this site, i can even admit to doing it myself, pretending to be something else for a while but now many times has it been taken to the next level, the personal level that really ends up affecting the lives of the people involved in the lie? it's so easy to believe a lie when you yourself wishes it to be true... it's interesting. how many people have conversed with someone over the internet only to find out later that it was all an elaborate lie that they had been sucked into? i'm talking about the people who really feel a connection with the person deceiving them and who possibly took the time to try and meet them in person.

how would you feel about it if something like that had happened to you? would you forgive the person in question who had misled you for so long? what factors would it depend on? do you know anyone who has experienced this?

Originally posted by trev33
i just finished watching the documentary 'catfish' and it got me thinking about my past relationships with people i had met on the internet, not only my own but everyones.

on a personal note i haven't talked with anyone i only know from the internet on a personal level in a long time and only with a handful of people when i have done, one of whom i ended ...[text shortened]... ong? what factors would it depend on? do you know anyone who has experienced this?

Originally posted by trev33
i just finished watching the documentary 'catfish' and it got me thinking about my past relationships with people i had met on the internet, not only my own but everyones.

on a personal note i haven't talked with anyone i only know from the internet on a personal level in a long time and only with a handful of people when i have done, one of whom i ended ...[text shortened]... ong? what factors would it depend on? do you know anyone who has experienced this?

i met my exwife off line.

Of course we're not honest about who we are.

My real name is Nate Silver and this is No1's true identity:

http://tinyurl.com/3wbu49c

Duh.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
Who is honest offline?

Originally posted by trev33
i just finished watching the documentary 'catfish' and it got me thinking about my past relationships with people i had met on the internet, not only my own but everyones.

on a personal note i haven't talked with anyone i only know from the internet on a personal level in a long time and only with a handful of people when i have done, one of whom i ended ...[text shortened]... ong? what factors would it depend on? do you know anyone who has experienced this?

Originally posted by rwingett
I met my wife online. We're still married.

Originally posted by rwingett
I met my wife online. We're still married.

Originally posted by generalissimo
I've seen this documentary, and I have to say that I was surprised by the extravagance of the fabrication about the girl's paintings along with the complete invention of several non-existing individuals by one single woman, for reasons only she knew.

Having said that, from what was shown in that documentary the woman in question didn't seem to enjo ...[text shortened]... ple out there who are prepared to make up such elaborate lies online, to the extent she did.

Originally posted by USArmyParatrooper
http://www.russianbrides.com/

I actually came *this* close to convincing a girl I talked in an MMO that I'm an AI. I don't think I have those chatlogs saved anywhere anymore, though, as I've since then lost the computer I had then. It was actually a double deception, since I had actually convinced everyone else in my clan(alliance? something like that) that I was a girl without actually going out and saying so, so everyone was at the same time trying to confirm that...

I did feel somewhat guilty about it, but it was really fun.

Just another anecdotal example of what can happen.

Reveal Hidden Content

A lot of relationships start on a night out when people have drunk too much. Despite the fact beer goggles lie to us people still go down this route. I would think internet relationships could be more reliable.

I am part of the new generation of ubernerds who either met or got to know all (5) of their girlfriends (current and previous) online.

I myself experienced this exact scenario just recently, at a different chess website where one can play games in real-time. I was challenged by a player with a girls name for a handle and we started the game. On this other site a chatbox is provided so one can communicate with ones opponent throughout the course of the game. As we played and bantered back and forth, I began enjoying the company even more than the game. We played several in a row and I liked playing her because she's really tough to beat, but also because of the shared comraderie. We started playing regularly every day and developing an endearing friendship. Or so I thought. This other site also features an in-house message center kind of like a site email. After a while I started getting these messages from complete strangers deriding me and warning me off against this person. The messages were all vague and cryptic, and she was waiting on me so as we played I was incredulous and I mentioned it to her to which she naturally responded with absolute bewilderment and stesdfast denials. After we had wrapped up for the evening though I made reply to the senders, of which there were three, asking on no uncertain terms for clarification and enlightenment. Two of the three answered back and the substance of what they told me was that person, who was not even really a she, was a kind of a predator with a nefarious agenda, and a possibly some sort of ambiguous mennace. Seems this person was putting out things about me in such a way as to make a clown out of me and give everyone in on the joke a howeling laugh. I'm not sure exactly what she was saying, but a few scrupulous souls took it upon themselves to take pitty on me and give me a heads-up about it. This was last sunday and since then I have persued a policy of discrete avoidance. It's been a week now and I've received nary a message from her asking about me. I believe the reason for this is because the warnings were true and this person knows exactly why I'm avoiding them.
Could I forgive this person for such a calculated and misleading fraud? Certainly. But an association could only be restored if the individual would own up to the fact that they got caught, and not try to continue the charade by lies and denials. Heck, if they would come clean about it, I'd even play chess with them again. I mean they are after all a worthy opponent. Unfortunately though I think this person has dark motives and will never admit to their chicanery.
Is closing, I do forgive this person, but I'll have nothing more to do with them.