Marriage had use as a way of uniting tribes, sometimes kingdoms, where for most of history daughters (and sometimes sons) had no choice in the matter. Modern-day marriage involving courtship and proposal is relatively recent in human history.
But is it still something people should engage in? Given the high rate of divorce some sources siting 50% of couples get divorced (a stat that increases after first marriage) is marriage just a relic of the past? Legal battles in divorce are messy, complicated and expensive. Jeff Bezos lost $60 billion to his ex-wife.
Lets discuss this thesis:
Marriage is a way to give children security.
It is worthwhile for a child to grow up in stable social constrcts (aka marriage) so yes as long as children start from scrtahc marriage is worthwhile.
And on the cost: It feels as if marrying is cheap, but actually you give the other half of what you own and promise to give half of what you get (and of course you receive the same).
When you divorce it becomes evident what this "half" means and if you engage ina war of roses you also make the lawyers rich.
Hint: It is probably better to give a marriage counsellour a living and work on the problems (they will resurface in the next relationship).
@vivify saidI think it's largely unnecessary except from a tax and legal benefits perspective. Also, some people want to do it for religious reasons but that in that case the legal binding paperwork isn't necessary. The happiest couple I know are long term unmarried and ascribe to "conscious commitment" approaches to relationships. They've been together for over a decade.
Marriage had use as a way of uniting tribes, sometimes kingdoms, where for most of history daughters (and sometimes sons) had no choice in the matter. Modern-day marriage involving courtship and proposal is relatively recent in human history.
But is it still something people should engage in? Given the high rate of divorce some sources siting 50% of couples get divorced ...[text shortened]... attles in divorce are messy, complicated and expensive. Jeff Bezos lost $60 billion to his ex-wife.
One weird statistic on divorce: Women in unhappy marriages are much more likely to initiate divorce than men are (for college-educated couples its something like 9:1 ratio), but in non-married couples the ratio of who initiates the breakup is 1:1.
@vivify saidResearch has shown that divorce among church-going [aka active, believing] Christians, in the US and other western nations, is almost zero, and in some cases and between 5 and 10%. In other cultures it is almost the smae among religious people. In India, Hindus - 2%, and Muslims about 20%. This one is only higher because of the ease of divorce in Islam, and the fact that the women gets very little.
Marriage had use as a way of uniting tribes, sometimes kingdoms, where for most of history daughters (and sometimes sons) had no choice in the matter. Modern-day marriage involving courtship and proposal is relatively recent in human history.
But is it still something people should engage in? Given the high rate of divorce some sources siting 50% of couples get divorced ...[text shortened]... attles in divorce are messy, complicated and expensive. Jeff Bezos lost $60 billion to his ex-wife.
In the west because the women get the lions share of the matrimonial assets in many cases, and because of feminism which has made many women into sluts and legal prostitutes, the divorce rate is very high, and initiated by the woman.
Trump has promised to reintroduce Christianity into schools and in government, and I think this process has already started. China has modified its stance on women getting big payouts in the event of a divorce, and this is likely to happen all over the western world. Women should not leave a marriage, especially after having affairs which destroyed the marriage, and end up with 90% of the assets.
The reason for many failed sections of society is the broken home, affairs and outside relationships which western society has condoned, fatherless children, the fall of religion. But it can be fixed.
@wildgrass saidWell, men are overwhelming more likely to be the abusers than women, who are most often the victims of domestic violence. Victims are more likely to want to leave than the perpetrators.
One weird statistic on divorce: Women in unhappy marriages are much more likely to initiate divorce than men are
I'm sure that stat of women initiating divorce would be higher if many of them weren't afraid to leave.
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@Rajk999 saidReliable estimates are that as few as 5% of Americans attend religious services on a regular basis.https://religionunplugged.com/news/2024/7/9/data-analysis-shows-as-few-as-5-of-americans-attend-church-weekly
Research has shown that divorce among church-going [aka active, believing] Christians, in the US and other western nations, is almost zero, and in some cases and between 5 and 10%. In other cultures it is almost the smae among religious people. In India, Hindus - 2%, and Muslims about 20%. This one is only higher because of the ease of divorce in Islam, and the fact that th ...[text shortened]... which western society has condoned, fatherless children, the fall of religion. But it can be fixed.
Trying to ram your silly superstition down people's throats is unlikely to make them change their behavior.
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@Rajk999 saidThis doesn't really mean anything other than their religious beliefs forbid divorce. Being religious doesn't mean their marriage is happier, it only means they feel more guilty about leaving an unhappy marriage then secular people do.
Research has shown that divorce among church-going [aka active, believing] Christians, in the US and other western nations, is almost zero, and in some cases and between 5 and 10%. In other cultures it is almost the smae among religious people. In India, Hindus - 2%, and Muslims about 20%. This one is only higher because of the ease of divorce in Islam, and the fact that th ...[text shortened]... which western society has condoned, fatherless children, the fall of religion. But it can be fixed.
Honestly, religious women tend to be even more unhappy in their marriage.
@vivify saidIs domestic violence higher in marriage? I thought it was the other way around.
Well, men are overwhelming more likely to be the abusers than women, who are most often the victims of domestic violence. Victims are more likely to want to leave than the perpetrators.
I'm sure that stat of women initiating divorce would be higher if many of them weren't afraid to leave.
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@wildgrass saidMarriage is much harder to get out of than boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, especially if religious. A woman who is just dating can more easily leave once warning signs appear.
Is domestic violence higher in marriage? I thought it was the other way around.
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@vivify saidYeah but the gender breakup ratio is 1:1 in non-married couples, and (at least I thought) the rates of domestic violence are also higher in non-married cohabitating or dating couples (vs. married couples).
Marriage is much harder to get out of than boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, especially if religious. A woman who is just dating can more easily leave once warning signs appear.
I don't think the answer to why there is a disparity can be explained by abuse issues.
@Rajk999 saidThere are lots of cause-effect problems with your "research has shown" statements.
Research has shown that divorce among church-going [aka active, believing] Christians, in the US and other western nations, is almost zero, and in some cases and between 5 and 10%. In other cultures it is almost the smae among religious people. In India, Hindus - 2%, and Muslims about 20%. This one is only higher because of the ease of divorce in Islam, and the fact that th ...[text shortened]... which western society has condoned, fatherless children, the fall of religion. But it can be fixed.
@Rajk999 saidFeminism hasn't made many women into sluts, just many chauvinists into bitter and irrational dolts.
In the west because the women get the lions share of the matrimonial assets in many cases, and because of feminism which has made many women into sluts and legal prostitutes, the divorce rate is very high, and initiated by the woman.
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@vivify saidMarriage seems to be primarily for the purpose of spending a lot of money making the bride the center of attention. It's no longer a symbol of permanence - now it's an exercise in conspicuous consumption and ego gratification.
Marriage had use as a way of uniting tribes, sometimes kingdoms, where for most of history daughters (and sometimes sons) had no choice in the matter. Modern-day marriage involving courtship and proposal is relatively recent in human history.
But is it still something people should engage in? Given the high rate of divorce some sources siting 50% of couples get divorced ...[text shortened]... attles in divorce are messy, complicated and expensive. Jeff Bezos lost $60 billion to his ex-wife.
One of many reasons I am single. Marriage is financially destructive when it used to be financially strengthening.