We have heard how mandated car insurance has been compared to mandated health insurance. In fact, President Obama has taken this one step further. He is now mandating that we all buy cars.
In an effort to win back the hearts and minds of Americans, the White House today announced the support of the new Obamacar program.
"Too many people are driving substandard cars," said White House Spokesman Jay Carney during today's press briefing. "In fact, there are a lot of Americans who don't even have cars. And without cars, who can afford to work? And if Americans are not working, then who can afford health care? That is why the President, by executive order, has initiated the Obamacar program."
The new program will see to it that all Americans, regardless of ability to pay for the vehicle, will be required to purchase the Obamacar. Those who cannot pay will be subsidized accordingly.
However, Carney was quick to point out that this did not mean that anyone would be forced to give up their favorite rides.
"If you like the car you are driving now, you can keep your car. Period." Carney read from a prepared statement by President Obama. "Nobody is going to take it away from you. Period."
Carney said this means that nobody will be required to purchase a vehicle they do not want or need. Ever. AS long as your current vehicle meets Obamacar standards. You can drive it as long as you like, unless the manufacturer decides to recall them.
"But if that happens, don't blame us," Carney said. "Thet's the free market at work, that's capitalism. We didn't do that to you."
He went on to state that all car manufactures will be required to produce only Obamacar compliant vehicles.
So why must all cars now meet Obamacar standards? The answer is obvious, global warming. Carney added, "The President is simply complying with EPA standards by requiring all vehicles to be environment friendly. This way the President can attack the two biggest issues that face us today, which is health care and global warming."
However, Carney was quick to point out that this did not mean that anyone would be forced to give up their favorite cars. All that needed to be done was to make sure that their particular car was compliant to EPA standards.
"If you like the car you drive now, nobody will be required to purchase a vehicle they do not want or need. Ever. AS long as your current vehicles meets Obamacar standards, you can drive it as long as you like."
Here are the new EPA standards for cars.
1. Hybrid model that runs on ethanol fuel.
2. On Board EPA fuel gauge black box that insures 40 miles to the gallon, or the car shuts off automatically.
3. Left Wheel driving.
4. Seating for 4 only. Americans take note, consider limiting the size of your families. Fuel efficient cars demand it. Consider decreasing the carbon family footprints.
5. Air conditioning and heating (preset to EPA standards that don't allow the temperature to go below 80 degrees in summer, and don't allow the heat to go above 50 degrees in the winter)
6. Environment friendly cork seats.
7. FM only radios. AM talk radio is old and seen as regressive, not progressive.
Jay Carney went on to say that private industry has yet to provide Americans with such cars necessary to meet today's environmental standards, but will continue to work with car manufactures through subsidize to provide them the ability to make such cars in the future.