Hello and congratulations for your purchase of your brand new
FAD (field acellerator drive)
This small manual will aquaint you with the basic features of the MS
FAD and a short history of its development. You all know about the
Xalgon war so we won't go into it in much detail. In the year 2410
Pluto City was attacked and mostly wiped out by the Xalgons and
they started attacking the inner system. We had already developed
the Hyperconductor due to the expansion of our core business of
software started by Saint Bill in 1984 and by 2350 we greatly
expanded our research arm and found the hyperconductor, the
basis for our next device MS Fusion. The hyperconductor allowed
us to build tiny magnets with incredible strength, millions of gauss,
which made the small fusion reactors we all use today possible.
This work led to the FAD which enabled the United Solar Forces
to build spacecraft capable of thousands of G's of acelleration with
no effect on the crew, it could be tuned internally to one G so the
crew felt like they were on Earth. The MS Fusion genrators enabled
the development of incredible weaponry requiring TERAwatts of
energy. All this was going on just a few years before the Xalgons
attacked so the USF pushed production schedules and our own
powerful space fleet was born very quickly and we defeated the
Xagons in short order. Some of this technology, weaker but still
very powerful beam weapons are built in to your new FAD due to
roving bands of Xalgons still being mopped up in the outer
asteroid belt where they hide out and make pirate raids which are
always repelled but they keep trying. This makes travel to the outer
planets by civilians a bit hazardous but our beam weapons powered
by MS Fusion will drive off any Xalgon attack and the occasional
human pirate too! We have to warn you, however, not to activate the
beam weapons in earth, Venus, Mars or Europa orbit. There are
strict laws about firing off these weapons there due to the long range
inherent in high power beams. Even though the USF can generate
concentrated TERAwatt beams and ours may sound a lot weaker at
a few GIGAwatts, severe damage can be caused on the ground so
watch where they are fired. The FAD itself will allow you to generate
thousands of G of acel with only a one G field inside the craft so
you can make wild turns which may put you in harms way if you are
close to a docking site so keep the acceleration down to a few G's
when landing or taking off from a space station or when in a
planetary atmosphere. Once in the regulated space lanes,
you are free to pile on the G's! The automated nav system will
keep you far enough away from other vehicles and commercial and
military traffic so you can enjoy a quick ride to grandma's house
on Titan. Just remember to turn the Accel knob to negative when
you are halfway to your destination.
We want to cover the environmental controls next. You have enough
oxygen stored up to completely replace the atmoshere three times
and the oxygen regeneration will keep you in clean air for years
at a time. MS Fusion comes in handy here too. It can be tuned to
transmute whatever your fuel is into whatever atom you want on the
periodic chart or make water molecules for drinking if the water
recycler goes out. So if the oxygen runs low, for instance, you just set
the knob on your SPARE MS Fusion pack to O2 or H20, whatever you
want. We want to point out the superconductive magnetic shields and
electrostatic repellers. These devices generate enormous voltages
and field stregths to charge up and repel or deflect meteors or
solar wind. If the fields are on, DON"T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
ALLOW EXTRAVEHICULAR EXCURSIONS. The Faraday effect shields
you while you are inside the craft but once you open the doors
even in a protective suit, you will be hit with 200 MILLION volt
electric fields and 100 MILLION gauss magnetic fields.
Needless to say you don't want to be hit with those fields, so if you
have to go EVA, TURN OFF THE SHIELDS.
On a more pleasant note, the air conditioning, refrigeration, heating
and entertainment systems are all solid state, no moving parts
anywhere, so reliability issues are non-existant. Each sub-system
has redundant features and is self-repairing with no operator
intervention required. The self-adjusting bedrooms are engineered
for your utmost comfort and you just lie down on our BED supreme
and it finds every bump and curve on your body and adjusts itelf
accordingly. No more aches and such when you wake up, your sleep
will be like a new born baby!
The auto-kitchen will make whatever food you desire, you can
select culinary delights from over 200 countries! Love Taco's?
Just tell it Taco's please! Like Pad Thai? Just tell it and how much!
like a nice blueberry milkshake? Easy! Anything you want and it will
make it for you in less than 2 minutes! Eggs Benedict? Coming
right up!
The bathroom and spa are immaculate, every feature of a modern
house for you. We even have a weightless Jacuuzi if thats what you
want!
In Part 2 of the manual we will go over navigation, manual steering,
safety equipment, yearly inspection logs, and so forth. So be sure
to read about the basic manouvering instructions. A qualified
instructor will have you checked out in less than a day! Thanks again
for buying our MS FAD!
Originally posted by sonhouse
Hello and congratulations for your purchase of your brand new
FAD (field acellerator drive)
This small manual will aquaint you with the basic features of the MS
FAD and a short history of its development. You all know about the
Xalgon war so we won't go into it in much detail. In the year 2410
Pluto City was attacked and mostly wiped out by the Xalgo ...[text shortened]... d
instructor will have you checked out in less than a day! Thanks again
for buying our MS FAD!
Funny!! 😀
Originally posted by zeeblebotI can't believe that you have seriously taken this thread.
http://robots.net/article/1544.html
"Building Online says that USC's Research Computing Facility plans to build an entire house by a fully automated robotic device by the Fall of 2005. "
MS FAD = Microsoft Field Acelerator Drive! 😛
LOL!
Amyway, I'll follow your link cos it seems interesting.
Thanks to post it.
Edit: and Ill post my comments on it in this thread.
Originally posted by LittleBearThe funny part is people not recognising satire when they see it!🙂
I can't believe that you have seriously taken this thread.
MS FAD = Microsoft Field Acelerator Drive! 😛
LOL!
Amyway, I'll follow your link cos it seems interesting.
Thanks to post it.
Edit: and Ill post my comments on it in this thread.
Originally posted by StarValleyWythanks Mike. This piece started out as a kind of manual for the
LOL
A great post Don. You get a wreck from me. errrr... not because I can't pilot, using my new FAD, but because "recomendation" is too long to write out... errr. Anyway. Well said and very entertaining.
Mike🙂
car used in back to the future part 2, remember the wheels that tucked
in, etc. I got so carried away, I realized it would have to have way
more capability than that Delorian! I think it ended up being more
like a parody of that John Candy movie, you know, the one with
the spaceship looking strangely like a camper?
Originally posted by sonhouseWhere he was a big cat ala Red whatever on BBC?
thanks Mike. This piece started out as a kind of manual for the
car used in back to the future part 2, remember the wheels that tucked
in, etc. I got so carried away, I realized it would have to have way
more capability than that Delorian! I think it ended up being more
like a parody of that John Candy movie, you know, the one with
the spaceship looking strangely like a camper?
Yea. I think it was "Space Balls"... a prequil to "History Of The Earth... Part Two" or "Young Frankenstein" errrr... one of Mel Brook's specials.
Anyway. I liked it a lot.🙂😵
Originally posted by StarValleyWyBTW did you get the MS fusion bit?
Where he was a big cat ala Red whatever on BBC?
Yea. I think it was "Space Balls"... a prequil to "History Of The Earth... Part Two" or "Young Frankenstein" errrr... one of Mel Brook's specials.
Anyway. I liked it a lot.🙂😵
Originally posted by StarValleyWyno, don't you remember that scene in BTTF part two where the doc
Yea. It was either an effort to unite with "oracle" or some other half-baked release of a database product. Right? Or what.
comes back to pick up our hero, saying his son is in trouble?
remember just before they took off in the delorian, he had to refuel
it, stuffing gargage into that tube called MR FUSION? get it, double
pun....
Originally posted by sonhouseI must apologize. I only saw the first of the series. I think maybe "mr. fusion" was in one of the follow-on movies? Sorry. I didn't see them.
no, don't you remember that scene in BTTF part two where the doc
comes back to pick up our hero, saying his son is in trouble?
remember just before they took off in the delorian, he had to refuel
it, stuffing gargage into that tube called MR FUSION? get it, double
pun....
Originally posted by StarValleyWyAh, you should rent part two, its precepts are almost possible,
I must apologize. I only saw the first of the series. I think maybe "mr. fusion" was in one of the follow-on movies? Sorry. I didn't see them.
generating time loops. MR FUSION was the name of the power unit
on the Delorian, it was in the opening scene.