I'm am a full supporter of parental rights in the midst of a breakup. I believe father should have as much contact with their children as possible as this only benefits the developement of the children. But when is parental access no longer an option? When you have an abusive ex partener is it more benificial to cut all contact in order to protect the child? What and where are the lines to be drawn? Any thoughts?
Originally posted by mokkoYes. An abusive ex deserves the ax. Particularly yours does, if what you say about him elsewhere is true.
I'm am a full supporter of parental rights in the midst of a breakup. I believe father should have as much contact with their children as possible as this only benefits the developement of the children. But when is parental access no longer an option? When you have an abusive ex partener is it more benificial to cut all contact in order to protect the child? What and where are the lines to be drawn? Any thoughts?
Originally posted by mokkoI remember when Aaron Fehr had to fight for visitation rights and Aaron isn't a bad person. He doesn't do any of the things you mentioned. You seem to have a bad habit of picking losers(harsh I know). This could be dangerous because he has already proven himself to be violent. You could get a court order, but they arn't bullitproof(not to frighten). Also you could get the gov't to garnish his wages for child support if he proves uncooperative. The down side to the legal aspect is LAWYERS cost a lot of money. You may be ablr to get gov't help on that.
I'm am a full supporter of parental rights in the midst of a breakup. I believe father should have as much contact with their children as possible as this only benefits the developement of the children. But when is parental access no longer an option? When you have an abusive ex partener is it more benificial to cut all contact in order to protect the child? What and where are the lines to be drawn? Any thoughts?
Next time try picking up a guy at the Library
Originally posted by PawnokeyholeWell I have taken matters to the proper authorities and have spent the whole day doing everything in my power to secure my family. I will need a lawyer by the looks of things and only hope I don't get killed in the process. I don't like feeling afraid and more importantly I don't like the thought of my children feeling afraid. :'(
Yes. An abusive ex deserves the ax. Particularly yours does, if what you say about him elsewhere is true.
I assure you I speak nothing but the truth, so help me God. I have no reason to lie anymore except my own shame in allowing things to happen that should never have happened.
My only concern is my kids and preventing any and all access seems the right thing to do. I have never denied access to my children before and it hurts me greatly. I only wish to do what's right.
Originally posted by CanadaguyYes I know, I'm a loser magnet. But the prob is that I've been protecting him all this time. Might now prove to come back and bite me in the butt. As for meeting any guy, no thanks. Getting too old for all the stress. I have all the love I'll ever need from my kids. 😏
I remember when Aaron Fehr had to fight for visitation rights and Aaron isn't a bad person. He doesn't do any of the things you mentioned. You seem to have a bad habit of picking losers(harsh I know). This could be dangerous because he has already proven himself to be violent. You could get a court order, but they arn't bullitproof(not to frighten). ...[text shortened]... You may be ablr to get gov't help on that.
Next time try picking up a guy at the Library
I'm a dad of a 13-year old and a 10-year old.
I separated from their mother about 8 years ago.
Throughout these 8 years, I've constantly had to fight through the courts to retain my contact with my kids.
My ex has sought, at any opportunity, to reduce the contact time I have.
Last year, she decided to move to the other end of the country (About 100 miles away), despite the kids protestations.
Because of this, I now only see my kids 3 weekends in 4 - I used to see them roughly half the time when everybody lived in Glasgow. I used to play a full part in the daily routines of school etc.
In my opinion, even if the father had been abusive, some sort of contact should be maintained. Even if this is supervised contact. So long as there is no risk to the children
I think it is almost understandable for the mother to seek (consciously or otherwise) to break the link between the kids and the father - it just keeps things simple and avoids painful confrontations. However, it is not in the interests of the kids.
I don't know about the specifics of Mokko's case, but in general, keeping some sort of contact with the father is in the kids' interests.
I think both parents need to fight as much as possible and use their kids as pawns in a chess game. Specific attention needs to be spent on brainwashing the child to be for one parent or the other...to further cripple the child's mental and emotional health and development. Only when the child will grow up to have screwed up relationships of their own, a lack of trust in others and contemplating suicide or attempting suicide will real progress be shown.
Because remember...it's NOT about the children or what is best for them- it's parents going for what they want and not acting like responsible adults. The money that should be spent on the child is instead paid out in attorney's fees and court costs.
Judges should do what is in the best interests of the child/children on a case by case basis- the child's welfare should ALWAYS come before parent's squabbles. I'm all for children's rights first.
Originally posted by mokkoWas he abusive to the kids as well as you? If he was abusive to you and not the kids then it should be ok for him to see them,
I'm am a full supporter of parental rights in the midst of a breakup. I believe father should have as much contact with their children as possible as this only benefits the developement of the children. But when is parental access no longer an option? When you have an abusive ex partener is it more benificial to cut all contact in order to protect the child? What and where are the lines to be drawn? Any thoughts?
properly supervised. We have a case at work where our executive
assistant had an abusive husband and even the kids were afraid of
him, she had to get a restraining order to keep him away from them
all. He did stuff like take out loans on the house unbeknown to her
and spent all the money on stupid stuff, gambling, etc, beating her
and the kids but now the divorce is final and she has the house but
is saddled with a huge second mortgage but she figures its worth it to
have him out of her life. The kids know full well he is abusive so they
have no problem not seeing this jerk.
Originally posted by RedmikeThe thing is I have two other children from a previous relationship. They see their dad all the time, it's never been an issue. We are very compramising with each other and it's always about what the kids want/need. Things have gotten out of hand with this new guy. His whole family is ganging up on me calling me horendous names and threating me with their money. The baby isn't even a year old yet and his temper tantrums have been in full force in front of her and even while holding her. He did not want this baby and onlt views her as a payment each month. I truly fear what he would do. She can't speak for herself and he will stop at nothing to hurt me. I know contact is always the best option but when is it no longer approriate?
I'm a dad of a 13-year old and a 10-year old.
I separated from their mother about 8 years ago.
Throughout these 8 years, I've constantly had to fight through the courts to retain my contact with my kids.
My ex has sought, at any opportunity, to reduce the contact time I have.
Last year, she decided to move to the other end of the country (About ...[text shortened]... s case, but in general, keeping some sort of contact with the father is in the kids' interests.
Originally posted by steve645This is not always the case. To use your kids a tools against each other only serves to hurt the kids in the end. I don't agree with it and love my children too much to hurt them. But I also love them enough to want to protect them.
I think both parents need to fight as much as possible and use their kids as pawns in a chess game. Specific attention needs to be spent on brainwashing the child to be for one parent or the other...to further cripple the child's mental and emotional health and development. Only when the child will grow up to have screwed up relationships of their own, a ...[text shortened]... s welfare should ALWAYS come before parent's squabbles. I'm all for children's rights first.
Originally posted by sonhouseI think I could handle supervised visits. He has never physically harmed the children but the emotional damage has been heart wrentching.
Was he abusive to the kids as well as you? If he was abusive to you and not the kids then it should be ok for him to see them,
properly supervised. We have a case at work where our executive
assistant had an abusive husband and even the kids were afraid of
him, she had to get a restraining order to keep him away from them
all. He did stuff like take out ...[text shortened]... f her life. The kids know full well he is abusive so they
have no problem not seeing this jerk.
Originally posted by mokkoI think the bottom line is that contact is always the best option, unless it is demonstrably against the interests (or wishes, if they're old enough) of the child.
The thing is I have two other children from a previous relationship. They see their dad all the time, it's never been an issue. We are very compramising with each other and it's always about what the kids want/need. Things have gotten out of hand with this new guy. His whole family is ganging up on me calling me horendous names and threating me with their mo ...[text shortened]... othing to hurt me. I know contact is always the best option but when is it no longer approriate?
I think things have to be pretty extreme for contact to be denied.
If there are issues about his behaviour or whatever, try and arrange that he only has supervised contact.
If he is such a tosser, he'll probaby not be interested in contact other than as a means of hurting you. You might just be playing into his hands by trying to prevent it completely.
Originally posted by mokkoThis man (as you describe him) deserves no consideration at all.
I think I could handle supervised visits. He has never physically harmed the children but the emotional damage has been heart wrentching.
If he is abusing you or those children in any way you need just one thing from him ... distance.
Get away. Get safe and ... don't look back.
Originally posted by jammerWell I've had to have his weapons confiscated and I'm going down to the court house right now. All I hope for is the safety and security of my baby. It's a really sad situation and none of this makes me happy or gives me any sense of justification at all. It's heartbreaking. All I want is distance and no contact. I pray I'm doing the right thing.
This man (as you describe him) deserves no consideration at all.
If he is abusing you or those children in any way you need just one thing from him ... distance.
Get away. Get safe and ... don't look back.