http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13262887,00.html
A father who was ordered to stay away from his young son after smacking him has hit out at the court system.
The 41-year-old was spotted by an off-duty detective lashing out at the three-year-old.
The punishment was so harsh the boy flew up in the air, witnesses said.
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"My partner had to look after our son and bring up our baby all on her own for six months because I wasn't allowed to be around," he said.
"It's not just been punishing for me, it's been punishing for her and the kids. I was dealt with really unfairly."
The father, from Chorlton, Manchester, had hit his son because the youngster had run out in front of a car.
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Not that I condone spanking your child in public, or really hurting your child, but I can sympathise with this man. His son ran infront of a car ! It is any parent's natural reaction to discipline their child if they misbehave and obviously this man hit his son, not because he is an abusive father, but out of fear for what could have happened. Imagine for one second your son being moments away from death, what would your instrinctive reaction be ?
Originally posted by pcaspianMy father never even raised a finger or a word against me in public.
http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13262887,00.html
A father who was ordered to stay away from his young son after smacking him has hit out at the court system.
The 41-year-old was spotted by an off-duty detective lashing out at the three-year-old.
The punishment was so harsh the boy flew up in the air, witnesses said.
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"My pa ...[text shortened]... or one second your son being moments away from death, what would your instrinctive reaction be ?
It was in private that the belts, knives and guns came out. Against my mother, me and my siblings. Twice a week for 16 years.
I dismiss myself from the jury on this one.
Originally posted by StarValleyWy
My father never even raised a finger or a word against me in public.
It was in private that the belts, knives and guns came out. Against my mother, me and my siblings. Twice a week for 16 years.
I dismiss myself from the jury on this one.
That's terribly sad Star. I know a man similar to your father. He's terribly nice in public, but behind closed doors his wife suffers. Sorry to hear about that, guess we really grew up in different worlds.
Originally posted by pcaspianI would say that anybody who hits a 3 year old child hard enought to make them fly up in the air is an abusive beast.
The punishment was so harsh the boy flew up in the air, witnesses said.
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Not that I condone spanking your child in public, or really hurting your child, but I can sympathise with this man. His son ran infront of a car ! It is any parent's natural reaction to discipline their child if they misbehave and obviously this man hit his son, not because ...[text shortened]... or one second your son being moments away from death, what would your instrinctive reaction be ?
No matter what triggers this reaction.
Originally posted by CrowleyHeh, I'm familiar with those types: "We treat them as little adults, try to reason with them". Problem is adults don't (usually) do insane stuff like holding their breath till they get their own way or deliberately crapping their pants for the same reason.
Especially now when I see these soft hippy types who believe they can reason with their little brats.
Originally posted by Scheel
I would say that anybody who hits a 3 year old child hard enought to make them fly up in the air is an abusive beast.
No matter what triggers this reaction.
I don't think I would be able to (even though I work out) smake a 3 year old with my palm in a manner that thay 'fly in the air'. From previous experiences with hidings, the usual response is to hold the childs arm with one hand and then smack with the other. I recall my reaction to when I would get smacked and propulsing my arse forward at moment of impact significantly lessener the blow, even though me moving forward looked more dramatic.
Unfortunitely this incident will now put the living fear into any parent even thinking about smacking their child. Heck, it's enough to make me leave this country as I don't want my child to turn out a brat, just because her dad was scared to discipline her.
I'm sure that if I hit my daughter (4-years old) hard enough, I could knock her off her feet.
I do not spank my child. I have been in the same situation with my daughter. It was terrifying, but I certainly didn't hit her. I did grab and talk to her very sternly. To be honest she was so scared between the car and my response that she was adequately censured. No sense in causing more problems by hitting her. You have to be an adult in those situations. It may be hard, but it is your responsibility.
BTW I don't think that slapping your child is the natural reaction of a non-abusive parent in that situation. I suspect this guy cannot control his anger. For this reason, I withhold sympathy until I have a better understanding of the individual.
Originally posted by pcaspian
Unfortunitely this incident will now put the living fear into any parent even thinking about smacking their child.
I've been hearing that line for a very long time. Judging from some the above responses, I doubt this will have much effect.
Heck, it's enough to make me leave this country as I don't want my child to turn out a brat, just because her dad was scared to discipline her.
Discipline does not equal smacking.
Originally posted by telerion
Originally posted by pcaspian
I've been hearing that line for a very long time. Judging from some the above responses, I doubt this will have much effect.
Well, this particular incident has reached headlines in the UK all over. I don't believe it will change a person's moral regarding smacking their children, however it will make them wary of the consequences of their actions. If the consequences of smacking your child too hard results in not being able to see them for 6 months, I believe it is enough to scare any parent off the idea.
Discipline does not equal smacking.
Smacking it part of discipline. Ofcourse you can choose to avoid it, however I believe it an entirely natural part of parenting. All sorts of animals discipline their young through lesser forms of pain. It is the pecking order. It teaches a child respect. I've seen children hit their mothers for various reasons and mothers would just sit there embarrassed. Can you really explain to a 3 year old why it is wrong to hit their mother, or does a quick smack suffice ?
I believe discipline comes in many forms and smacking is not the only solution. Ofcourse if you succeed in raising your child in other ways, so be it, however I believe the majority of parents that are afraid of smacking their children are doing an injustice.
Can you really explain to a 3 year old why it is wrong to hit their mother, or does a quick smack suffice ?
Ans: Yes. I've done so, and it has proven effective.
A quick smack may rid one of the problem temporarily, but I think it cames at too great a risk. I would also remind the others in this thread that not smacking your kid is not the same as letting any behavior go unchecked.
Originally posted by telerion
Ans: Yes. I've done so, and it has proven effective.
Not all kids respond to 'reason' though Tele.
A quick smack may rid one of the problem temporarily, but I think it cames at too great a risk.
I really don't see any risk. I've been ' caned ' , smacked with a belt and smacked with an open palm. The caning left some serious stripes, but other than 3 minutes of pain afterwards, it is over and done with.
I can't see any harm, unless you're an abusive parent, but abusive parents would probably beat their children up, not smack them. Any loving parent would never want to harm their child, infact even though I promote smacking the idea of hurting my child is very unpleasant. Truth of the matter is that it is a basic (simply to understand to a 3 year old) cause and effect model. The best example I can give is how my brother put his hand around an electric wire as a child. He got shocked once, got a fright, no serious harm to him other than a big fright and he never touched that wire again.
I believe the problem with smacking is indeed abusive parents who simply like to beat up on their kids. As such the gov tries to bad smacking as it is a difficult to judge between 'abuse' and 'discipline'. Ofcourse should any form of 'smacking' be banned, it would be simpler to punish the parents, however this makes little sense. A parent can still continue not to love their child, irrespective of the law.
I think the problem lies with problem parents not loving their children, as any loving parent would not want to harm their children. Whether you have a parent that smacks you, or a parent that simply rejects you and makes you sit in the corner for 5 hours for some insignificant offense, the same harm can be done to a child through means other than smacking.
PCaspian: The best example I can give is how my brother put his hand around an electric wire as a child. He got shocked once, got a fright, no serious harm to him other than a big fright and he never touched that wire again.
Maybe properly administered electrical shocks to a 3 year old would be an even more effective and technologically superior alternative form of disciplining the toddler than simply "smacking" them.
Originally posted by pcaspianYou're the one who was praising the therapeutic value of such a method, so I figured you would believe that it should be universally adopted to control unruly tots. Perhaps 10 minutes of electrical discipline before Barney every day would be sufficient to completely break their spirit and submit to any authority ever claimed over them. That seems to be in accord with your general view on the value of the average member of the human race.
Originally posted by no1marauder
[b] Maybe properly administered electrical shocks to a 3 year old would be an even more effective and technologically superior alternative form of disciplining the toddler than simply "smacking" them.
You think we can test that theory on you ?[/b]