"The Struggle to Speak Up: How Women are Pressured to De-escalate Sexist Incidents" (article)

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"Note that Duchess will be unable to post an exact quote for in him saying so." ---Vivify.

Still waiting for when Fin claimed I put down women.

Originally posted by whodey
It's a serious question.

What would you do if approached sexually by your boss, the President of the United States?

No, it's not. I'm not "fleshing out" your scenario for you. Sorry.

Originally posted by vivify
Can you give a personal example of this? I imagine you have a story or two, since you said "all of us", meaning all women.

EDIT: Because of the inflammatory nature this topic can have, let me be clear: I'm not asking out of some "gotcha" type of questioning. I'm not asking because I doubt your experiences, and I'm "calling you out" on it, nor am I lookin ...[text shortened]... ur personal account of a time where you were chastised for standing up for yourself as a woman.

There have been several examples of this since I've been here at RHP. When I first came here (and this was before your time), this was such a male-dominated set of forums. I even called it the "He-Man Woman Haters' Club" from the "Our Gang" short film Mail and Female (1937). ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mail_and_Female ) After this, the men here descended on me en masse and several of them went so far as to announce that I "must be a guy" (presumably for speaking out). One of them in particular, whom I shall not name, gave me the nickname "Suziman" and this went on for a couple of years off and on, until I publicly called this guy out for it and started alerting his posts until he was eventually banned a couple of times. Add to this the criticism I sustained every time I posted a thread about "International Women's Day" ( "This is sexist! Why don't you post about Men's Day?" ), or any other feminist topic. It became so bad and so common that eventually I stopped making these kinds of posts because the grief I got for them completely overshadowed any complimentary PMs I got (from women who didn't feel they could support me in public, I might add). The last thread I posted concerning a feminist topic was about Emma Watson's speech to the UN after becoming its "goodwill ambassador" in September 2014. ( YouTube ) The flamethrower I got for that one was considerably less than I had faced in previous years, but still, this was really the last time I actually created a thread for discussing a feminist topic. I'm sure any of these threads I speak of are still available here (maybe not, some were a long time ago) so that's why I mention these examples as they can be dredged up and examined.

I might add that I find it interesting that you ask me to explain instances when I was chastised for being a woman, or for standing up for myself, when no one else that I know of, and certainly no man, has been asked to verify or vouch for ANYthing they've said.

Originally posted by Suzianne

I might add that I find it interesting that you ask me to explain instances when I was chastised for being a woman, or for standing up for myself, when no one else that I know of, and certainly no man, has been asked to verify or vouch for ANYthing they've said.

I didn't ask you to verify what you said. I simply asked for what specifically you experienced. I even said in what you quoted from me, that I don't doubt your experiences. I just think sharing what you've gone through is good education for any guy reading this thread.

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Well, see, this is the point. As you know, women know about this all-too-common attempted public humiliation women get for speaking out. Men are, most often, the ones who don't "get it".

I've always said, "You don't have to like me, but you don't have to insult me, either." But it actually IS better now than it was here "back in the day". Not absolutely fabulous, mind you, just "better than it was", which is not saying much. Because I do remember a time when it was just horrible to be a woman posting in some of these forums. Sometimes the best I could hope for was to be ignored, and yes, that happened a lot too. "Equal treatment" was kind of a pipe dream back then, but still, I had hope that eventually the tide might turn, and I'm happy to see the beginnings of it even now. I know there are men on this forum who do NOT consider it "business as usual" to put women down and yes, a lot of the Neanderthals have also left the site over the years. So yes, it IS getting better, but still, it's a slow process, just as it is in the real world.