Originally posted by Joe FistXtians use a cross for their symbol . What will the Church of Dog use ?
How can I be a member? I think I am a BOD (born again dog)
Suggestions : Human Society uthenasia needle , dog catchers net , surgical equipment for nuetering . Will the churches have fire hydrants on top of them instead of steeples ? Show cats as having horns and forked tails ?
Originally posted by thesonofsaulCan all contributors to THE WORD OF DOG have their own chapter, like the other book?
What the Church of Dog needs is a scripture. Everyone knows you can't have any spirituality without some moldy outdated text. So let's see. The back of a really old bag of dog chow should do.
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If so, I would like to take a crack at Creation. All input is greatly appreciated:
Ahem....
"In the beginning, there was darkness and Dog decided to change that..."
Doggie ten commandments :
1- Thou shalt not kill the mailman . Yea neither shalt thou kill his familiars , the meter readers .
2- Hump not the unclean thing , yea neither shalt thou hump thy master's leg , nor thy neighbor's leg , nor thy master's blanket .
3-Roll not in the unclean thing .
4-Eat not the poop of thy neighbor , yea nor his cat's poop , or baby's poop , nor any poop not thine own .
5-Covent not thy neighbor's bitch .
6-Hump thy not boy dog with boy dog , for it is an abomination in the eyes of the nieghbors and DOG .
7-Thou shalt have no other yards .
8-Eat not the shoe , for it is unclean .
9-Lick not thy knob for it is sinful .
10-Suffer not a cat to live .
Originally posted by Moldy CrowLMAO!
Doggie ten commandments :
1- Thou shalt not kill the mailman . Yea neither shalt thou kill his familiars , the meter readers .
2- Hump not the unclean thing , yea neither shalt thou hump thy master's leg , nor thy neighbor's leg , nor thy master's blanket .
3-Roll not in the unclean thing .
4-Eat not the poop of thy neighbor , yea nor his c ...[text shortened]... , for it is unclean .
9-Lick not thy knob for it is sinful .
10-Suffer not a cat to live .
I submit that any form of debate be answered in the same format offered in the WORD OF GOD forum, mainly by BF101:
Example:
Debator: How do you know there is a DOG?
Fist: THE WORD OF DOG proclaims it to be so.
Debator: You didn't answer my question.
Fist: THE WORD OF DOG answers all questions!!!!! You do not believe!!!!! You are going to Hell!!!! You are probably homosexual too!!!!! For that, you are also going to Hell!!!!
Debator: You are kind of whacky, aren't you?
Fist: To call me "whacky" you are calling THE WORD OF DOG whacky!!!!! You do not believe!!!!! You are going to Hell!!!! You are probably homosexual too!!!!! For that, you are also going to Hell!!!!
Apply this statement to any and all arguements posted 🙂
Originally posted by Joe FistSad but true.
I submit that any form of debate be answered in the same format offered in the WORD OF GOD forum, mainly by BF101:
Example:
Debator: How do you know there is a DOG?
Fist: THE WORD OF DOG proclaims it to be so.
Debator: You didn't answer my question.
Fist: THE WORD OF DOG answers all questions!!!!! You do not believe!!!!! You are going ...[text shortened]... at, you are also going to Hell!!!!
Apply this statement to any and all arguements posted 🙂
Originally posted by Moldy CrowAnd the commandments were delivered unto thee who was most holy, the one called "Lassie"....
Doggie ten commandments :
1- Thou shalt not kill the mailman . Yea neither shalt thou kill his familiars , the meter readers .
2- Hump not the unclean thing , yea neither shalt thou hump thy master's leg , nor thy neighbor's leg , nor thy master's blanket .
3-Roll not in the unclean thing .
4-Eat not the poop of thy neighbor , yea nor his c ...[text shortened]... , for it is unclean .
9-Lick not thy knob for it is sinful .
10-Suffer not a cat to live .
Lassie called upon his disciples: Snoopy, Benji, Scooby-Doo, Rin Tin Tin, Marmaduke, Old Yeller to deliver the message of the commandments....
Originally posted by Joe FistYea , and Lassie commanded them : "Go out in small packs into the fields and the yards and the dumpsters . Find ye those lost , with no collars , and without shots , and sniff then their butts and allow them to sniff of your butt as well , that they may know I am DOG , and you are of DOG ."
And the commandments were delivered unto thee who was most holy, the one called "Lassie"....
Lassie called upon his disciples: Snoopy, Benji, Scooby-Doo, Rin Tin Tin, Marmaduke, Old Yeller to deliver the message of the commandments....
And they went .
And they found those infested of fleas , and lay down beside them . And they that were afflicted with fleas , and mange , and all manner of pestilence were cured with the holy hartz flea collar of DOG and the laying on of tongues .
And they did follow , and great was the multitude that did . All all knew them as they scratched no more .
Originally posted by KneverKnightHmmmm...this sounds like a question for debate to me. Okay you asked for it:
Does anyone know where the fire hydrants are?
THE WORD OF DOG answers all questions!!!!! You do not believe!!!!! You are going to Hell!!!! You are probably homosexual too!!!!! For that, you are also going to Hell!!!! 🙄😵😀